THE DELAWAREAN

Re-energized

2007-06-19T13:37:00.000-04:00

Ah, where to begin? It's not that I actually have spare time to do this. In fact, I have even less time than I did before. I just felt as if I've finally started to get all my ducks in a row per say.

Before, there was som much I wanted to accomplish. I wasn't happy with where I was in my life. Things were not moving in the direction I ~~wanted~~ needed them to go in. So I had to take a step back and re-examine things. And at the time I felt that blogging was something that just had to be put on hold.

So what's new you may ask? (Or you may not, because you really don't care.) I'm going to tell you anyway, because that's the point of this blog dammit. But I'm not going to tell you all in this post. That would take way too long. So over the next few posts, my plan is to bring the Web up to speed on the changes over the past 6 months.

Hell, that's just an excuse really for me having to remember how to do this Web stuff again...

See ya soon.

Del

This is the way the blog ends

2006-09-24T12:38:00.000-04:00

Life is very ~~long~~ short
Between the desire, And the spasm
Between the potency, And the existence
Between the essence, And the descent
Falls the Shadow
For Thine is the Kingdom
For Thine is, Life is, For Thine is the
This is the way the ~~world~~ blog ends
This is the way the ~~world~~ blog ends
This is the way the ~~world~~ blog ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.

—T.S. Eliot, "The Hollow Men" (1925)
(Adapted by The Delawarean)

It's time for me to do other things. And so this is where I shall paddle off into the sunset...

Thank all of you who have read over the past few years and those of you who have helped me keep my sanity by leaving comments. I wish you all the best.

Elvis has left the building.

A Project Milestone

2006-09-17T13:03:00.000-04:00

When I started this little blogging project I intended to follow a few rules.

I would not dedicate too much time to this to allow for other things.
Use the Google philosophy of keeping the page simple.
Possibly extend my network of friends (or imaginary friends).
Remain anonymous so that I could ~~bitch~~ write about whatever I felt like.
Keep it fun.
Reevaluate this project when I arrived at the 10,000 hits mark.

For the most part, I have sort of, kinda, in a round-about way held these statements true.

Coming up within the next week or so this site will most likely hit the 10,000 visitor mark. And now it's time to step back and think.

To continue or not to continue? That is the question.

On one hand, I enjoy blogging - even though I may just be blogging to myself for the most part. I spend a lot of time working on the computer anyway. I will no longer get FIRED if I feel like looking at my blog from work. (I just had to add that.) And it does provide a vehicle for me to vent every now and then.

On the other hand, I am much busier now than when I started this blog. Next month I will be moving and the majority of my free time will focus on that. There are several other hobbies of mine that I'd like to get more involved in, such as photography, biking, kayaking, etc...

I just don't know. There was a time when I looked at posting to this blog as fun, but lately it seems that I look upon it as more of a chore. Something that gets written on a to-do list. But yet, if I stopped, just think of all those Delaware sites that link to me. And I've noticed that I'm on quite a bit of them. (Go me!) It's like I feel obligated to update the blog in case some random person would surf on in via a random link. Such pressure.

I mean come on, I have the top search result for "Delawarean" in Google. Granted most people have their blog titles come up first, but most people don't have a title that represents an entire group of people in the United States of America. Hell, even a Google Image search returns 6 of the first 21 images from my blog! You mean to tell me that in the entire state of Delaware and all that has to do with Delaware being online, countless agencies, organizations, state and local governments, that I get almost 4% of the Google Image results? That IS pressure.

And that violates rule #5.

Whatever the case may be I'm not at 10,000 just yet, so I have a little time to think about it.

Spite

2006-09-17T12:27:00.000-04:00

Just because I want to prove her wrong, I'm going to do this. And for the record, I hate these things.

1) You have been selected as the next super hero in your city. What power will you choose to have? - The ability to instill respect into ignorant individuals. Dover has enough of them that my job will be cut out for me.
2) Lemon or Lime? - Lemon. I love lemonade.

3) How many speeding tickets have you received? - Technically none. Which is surprising because I generally fly with all the driving I do. I did get pulled over when I was 18 and issued a ticket for "failing to obey a traffic control device - speed limit sign" but the cop was nice and worded it that way so it wasn't speeding and I didn't get any points.

4) It's last call for alcohol what will you order? - No question, Guinness.

5) Which video game character would you want to be? - Sam Fisher, from the Splinter Cell series of games.

6) What event do you think has had the most effect on this country? - Well, duh, obiviously the Revolutionary War! Without that, there'd be no country and Madonna wouldn't have to fake a British accent.

7) What was the street name you lived on the majority of your childhood? - Valley Road.

8) The name of your first pet? - Patches, a black and white cat

9) Your first grade teacher's last name? - Mrs. Roseand

And the final one
10) What color are your current undergarments? - Um, plaid?

So now, I tag...

NO ONE, because as I said before, homey don't play that.

A day to remember, an experience to forget

2006-09-11T19:28:00.000-04:00

Like most people, I can tell you exactly what I was doing on the morning of 9/11/2001. You never forget things like that. Traumatic things. Things that are so far from the status quo that your brain decides to permanently etch the most miniscule things, that on any normal day, you'd easily forget.

For example, I can tell you that I had two different colored socks on that day - by accident of course. I can tell you what 5 of my coworkers were dressed in because I can see them reacting to the news in unison. The look of disbelief and horror on their faces is stained in to my brain like a monitor that was left on too long that developed a burnt image.

It's things like this that I don't know why I remember. I just do. It's often human nature to block traumatic events in our minds. Our brain knows that we don't ever want to experience them again but yet it records each and every moment like a security camera.

It was on this day, five years ago, that my brain chose to forget about everything else that I thought was important in my life and remind me of the things that truly are.

And I called home.

Excellence

2006-09-07T20:39:00.000-04:00

Plain and simple.

I Netflixed the movie United 93 and watched it tonight. I'm not one that usually gets choked up over movies. In fact, I've never actually shed a tear over any movie that I can remember. I'm just not like that. Half the theater could be sobbing and it really just never hit me like that.

After United 93, I had tears in my eyes. My heart was beating faster. And I ended up with a headache from the emotions it generated.

Never before have I experienced a movie that pulled me in so much. Every single thing about this movie was absolutely perfect. In a day and age where movies like Million Dollar Baby wins best picture. (seriously, it was just OK) this movie had better win that and everything else it had better be nominated for.

The score was perfect. The cinematography was perfect. The acting was perfect. The script was perfect. The respect that this story needed was there.

This movie is excellence in filmmaking. Hollywood take notes. (I'm looking at you Michael Bay.)

The death of a salesman

2006-09-04T08:26:00.000-04:00

I woke up this morning and flipped on the news like I always do and much to my dismay, learned of something very sad. Steve Irwin, a.k.a the Crocodile Hunter, has died.

Now normally I wouldn't even bother posting about this and I'd leave it up to the news but I think there's something that ought to be said. And convieniently for me, this is my blog and I can do just that right here, so here goes.

In 1985 the Discovery Channel was born. I grew up watching the Discovery Channel in a time when watching the Discovery Channel got you called a nerd or geek. As it aged, new series were developed (like Animal Planet) and the Channel grew stronger and even more interesting to me and attracted the even the "cool" kids who started watching it not so much for the educational value but for the entertainment and thrill seeking value.

How did a network that was once labeled as "nerd fodder" spin itself around to captivate audiences that were too cool for school? Simple. Hire a salesman.

Steve Irwin had the unique charisma, experience and craziness that allowed him to jump in to peoples' living rooms and keep their eyes glued to the TV wondering what he was going to do next. People began watching for the entertainment. The shock factor. They forgot they were watching EDUCATIONAL TELEVISION.

Both Steve and the Discovery Channel knew that this was the way to connect to the youth of today who expected nothing less than watching extreme sports and had little time for traditional documentaries. And in my opinion, if that's what it takes to educate our youth - this concealed and covert learning, then that's what must be done. And Steve did just that, perhaps better than anyone. He may have done some questionable things at times, but I ask you who hasn't? You just don't have a camera pointed at you 24/7 to capture them.

The buzz on the Internet is that Aussies found Steve to be a little embarrassing. Some Americans found him to be too in-your-face and viewed him as a fad that would surely fade over time. In any case, Steve Irwin would rampage his way to becoming a cultural icon for what he did. And it's what he did to our society that I wanted to point out.

He sold education; packaged and marketed for today's culture. He taught us that learning can be fun and extreme at the same time, so long as you don't try this at home. And for that, we will miss him.

At just 44 years young, Steve is survived by his American-born wife Terri and their two children who will no doubt carry on his life's work of helping animals and promoting wildlife education and preservation.

Thank you Steve. Thank you for covertly educating tomorrow's leaders- whether they knew it or not.

Rest in peace Croc Hunter.

A tribute to Steve.

Steve in action.

And one of my personal favorite commercials.

In the ghetto...

2006-09-01T21:06:00.000-04:00

I really can't wait to move up north. I've said it before and I'll say it again.

The fact that my ceiling is leaking like a sieve is not helping matters. I'm not surprised. This is about the 18th time. It's fun to have my own little fountain of youth in my 2nd bedroom. The disintegration of plaster, paint and drywall is a beautiful thing to see.

And you know what makes it even better? I have ALL of my stuff packed in cardboard boxes and nicely labeled and stacked in there. And what luck! This damn storm is just going to keep pouring that liquid of life right in to my storage area all weekend!

Not to mention that all I'll hear all night now is water hitting buckets. Wow, how lucky am I? I don't even have to buy one of those babbling brook nature sounds CDs.

Yes folks, all this can be yours in a few months when I move my soggy belongings you can move right in for just the low (ridiculous) price of $825 a month PLUS every friggin one of your utilities! For all that money you get to do fun things like play "cross the mine field". It's a fun game where you try and walk across my courtyard without stepping in dog shit because there are about 500 dog owners here and none of them pick up after their dogs. Not a one. Or perhaps if that's a little too extreme for you, then join in a game of "Fast and Furious: Parking Lot Burnouts." Fun for the whole family.

That's right folks, just shoot me an email if you'd like to have my slum lord put your name on the waiting list for this gem.

Fucking dump.

Randomousity

2006-08-24T18:25:00.000-04:00

Sometimes you just don't have a topic to write about. So you get a post like this where you just list some random things going on.

Yesterday my boss was promoted to a Director of our company. We found out while he was out of the office and he came back in the middle of one of our meetings. Upon him entering, I stopped the meeting mid-sentence, stood up and yelled CAPTAIN ON DECK. Our entire office staff jumped to their feet and saluted. This was not pre-discussed. We just all think on the same wavelength and our office atmosphere is such that the reply was along the lines of "screw all of you guys." What does this mean for me? Not a damn thing. Yet.
I was going to really make an effort to fulfill Mike's tag/book list/thing but I only get to read on planes and in airports so here's my half-assed version.

One book that changed your life: The Making of An American Landscape. This book forced me to survey my surroundings no matter where I am and think about what others were thinking when they designed something in particular, like Central Park or rock gardens, or worship halls. I find that whenever I people watch I find myself thinking of this book which forces me to think about how people socially affect the landscape they interact with. Close runner up: Who moved my cheese?
One book you read more than once: Strike one. I don't have time to repeat books. I'm lucky if I can finish one.
One book you'd want on a desert island: Well, that depends. Am I alone on said island? What's the temperature? I'm thinking a set of encyclopedias would be nice to burn and keep me warm for a while at night when the sun goes down. (I know that's not the point of the question, but I'm a realist. Read a book or freeze to death?)
One book that made you laugh: America The Book. Jon Stewart for President!
One book that made you cry: Strike two. Maybe Old Yeller a long time ago. I was like 4!
One book you wish had been written: I don't get the fascination with Harry Potter by The Delawarean. Seriously. I don't understand the fad. When I was 3 Disney came out with Fantasia. Substitute a mouse for a kid with glasses. Same thing.
One book you wish had never been written: The 9/11 Commission Report. I wish there was never a need to write that.
One book you're currently reading: The Tin Man. Good airplane material. I like action books.
One book you've been meaning to read: (This is so cliche, but...) The Da Vinci Code. Everyone in the world has read this and I refuse to see the movie until I read the book.
Tag five others: Strike three. Homey don't play that.

I rented a storage unit in northern DE the other day. I plan to slowly migrate my junk north during each commute to my office.
I never realized how different cultures are. A Chinese coworker was walking through the new office construction area with me and commented how in China they don't use dry wall. Most things are brick and everything is done by hand. He was amazed at the aluminum studs and how fast construction was done.
This is why I own a Jeep. (It doesn't get really impressive until about the 1:40 mark).
I was in a bar/pub in St. Louis the other day and 5 U.S. Marines came in wearing dress uniforms. A somewhat drunk patron yelled GO ARMY! in an attempt to show support. They paid him no mind. I kindly leaned over and informed them that they were Marines and that there is a difference. The guy then got up, went over to their table, apologized, thanked them for serving and paid for half of their tab. That's what I like about St. Louis.
I'm stoked about moving up to northern DE. I will finally be able to start the life I planned on starting six years ago when I moved to Dover.
I'm hungry. Must go eat.

Size does matter

2006-08-19T10:49:00.000-04:00

I'm happy to announce that due to the kick-ass team of coworkers I have here in Delaware, my office is growing. My company already has offices all over the country but, we only opened this office June of 2005, and already we are expanding. And each and everyone of us busts our asses in that office. Anyone who reads this blog on a regular basis knows how many hours I actually put it. Now multiply that for everyone in my office. I can honestly say we have the best GIS team in the entire company. It makes my job easier knowing that I have developers that can back up the promises I make to clients.

Anyway, back to the expansion. I have been somewhat responsible for overseeing this effort. Fortunately for us, the office space directly next to our current office is empty, so all it's going to take is a little demolition and construction (which is actually about 70% complete). But perhaps the best part about this is that since we needed walls built, we could essentially pick the size of our individual offices.

(Insert ear-to-ear grin here.)

Sooooo... I did what any normal person who wants a comfortable working space would do. I made my office big enough to play full court basketball in! Seriously, it's freakin' huge. But, I'm not the boss (yet). So I had to make his just a tad bit bigger than mine. (office envy) I have windows stretching the length of the whole office, but he has floor to ceiling windows and a corner office. So essentially he has no outside walls. He could also put a pool table, a hot tub and a wetbar in there if he wanted to.

And as for the others who worked equally as hard as I did? Well they got nice windowed offices too. You won't find a single cubicle in my office. Not as long as I have any say about it. Cubicles are the anti-Christ.

Now I just have to find some nice young, hip, trendy office furniture to simulate that Google-type working atmosphere so we can create the next Google Earth.

You read my mind

2006-08-11T16:22:00.000-04:00

I try and be as original as possible with my postings, but once in a while you stumble across something that simple cannot be put better any other way.

Case in point, Mike's recent post about an image he found on flickr (which actually belongs to the site Worth1000) and the commercials that relate to it. Here's the image, but like I said, he explained it perfectly, so go read it. Now.

Must have been a woman's idea

2006-08-03T12:44:00.000-04:00

In my quest to find a home in northern Delaware, (which from this point forward will be referred to as The Neverending Story) I've noticed a recurring theme with a great number of houses I've looked at.

There seems to be a lust for converting one's garage into an additional bedroom. An I'm not talking about 1 bedroom houses here either. I'm talking about houses with 3 existing bedrooms and a perfectly fine garage, converting it to another bedroom. Take the house below for example.

This was a nice little 3 BR, 1 BA house with a nice one car garage. Perfect for, oh, I dunno, say ME. But then they had to go close up the garage and stick another BR in there. And I'm convinced that this trend started as a woman's idea. Because no man in their right mind would willingly just give up a garage.

To a man, a garage is so much more than just a place to park your car. It's a work bench, an automotive repair center, a tool shed, a sporting goods equipment locker and probably the most important, it's a refuge from a nagging wife and kids where a man can go and relax and pretend he's "working" on something. Aside from serving as the focal point for all manly activity in the house, the garage serves as an educational center enriched with family bonding capabilities. How else are young men supposed to learn to work on cars with Dad and cut wood with power tools? A garage is where a man becomes a man! I learned all of my automotive knowledge by pulling things apart in my old garage and putting them back together. It's where I parked by bicycle when I was a kid! How can one just extinguish a garage without thinking about the repercussions on future generations?

Now, I realize that as people with actual families need more space, the garage is probably the cheapest and easiest way to expand a home, but for God's sakes people garages are becoming EXTINCT!!! This trend of "garage-less" lifestyles is spawning generations of metrosexuals and people who can't do things for themselves.

What is to become of us? Where is society headed? I don't claim to have all the answers, but I do know that when I needed questions like these answered when I was young, I headed out to the garage to ask my Dad...

Movin' on up...

2006-07-27T08:21:00.000-04:00

You all know I've been house hunting forever now. Well I have an announcement to make. I finally settled on a house that I like. It's going to slightly increase my daily commute, but I think it's well worth it because I'll be happy. I kept the important things in mind, like utility costs, taxes, upkeep, etc... I took my video camera during my last visit so I could share my future domicile with the blogging community. So enjoy. Oh, and ignore the guy talking. That's just my realtor. He didn't realize I was filming and apologized later.

I close next Friday.

Northern Exposures

2006-07-24T23:48:00.000-04:00

Let me just preface this post by saying that about 4 hours in to my picture taking excursion on day 1 of my trip, my freakin camera broke. Dead. Done. Don't ever buy a Kodak Digital Camera LS400. So the last few pictures here are from my cell phone.

So anyway, I thoroughly enjoyed Helena. It's the iconic small town America if there ever was such a place. It's the type of town you'd see painted in Norman Rockwell's artwork.

This shot was taken from about 2/3 the way up Mt. Helena. Just a small town. Friendly people. Working people. Nothing fancy. Simplicity in its finest form. I like that.

I managed to get out away from the "big city" and explore the outlying countryside a bit.

The landscape is just jaw-dropping beautiful. Look at that picture above and below. Take a deep breath. Not too deep, because you're not in Montana. If you're in Delaware, you just got a lung full DuPont freshness. But not in Montana. Maybe it's my uber-sensitive sense of smell, but I noticed the clean air right away.

Look at this place. And me without my kayak! What's a paddler to do? Perfect weather. Perfect clients. For a moment, just a moment, I forgot I was there to work.

One night we joined the local community for a good old fashioned local baseball game. The Helena Brewers had a home stretch and we opted for some roasted peanuts, brats, and beers. It doesn't get more "Ain't that America" than that folks.

I love that you can kick back and take in a game like this, with Mt. Helena in the background, and the atmosphere completely makes me forget that I freakin hate baseball. Seriously. I can't stand it. It bores me. But you know what? It didn't matter. I had a good time. It was about living in the moment.

The Helena Regional Airport was interesting. Both gates of it. Perhaps the thing I found most interesting was the interior design of the airport.

The interior was designed to look very rustic and very much represented the town. How many other airports have you seen where the support beams are built to look like trees with bark and have wildlife action scenes over looking the patrons. I found it to be a nice relief from the hustle and bustle of airports like Detroit, Minneapolis, or Baltimore. Well done, Helena.

This trip re-energized me in my drive to explore places I've never been. Shortly I'll be back off to St. Louis, but after that, I may actually take a (cover your ears) vacation and head back out west. Las Vegas and Lake Tahoe are calling my name, but for now, it's house finding time. And that needs to take priority, no matter how stress relieving Montana was. That, and the fact that I now need to buy a new camera....

Snakes Skunks on a plane

2006-07-22T11:49:00.000-04:00

I'm back from God's Country. No, no the middle east, but Montana.

I'll post pictures and stories about that trip later. But first, I'd like to address the situation of air travel in our country.

Most of us normal folk fly coach. And most intra-continental travel is accomplished on planes that consist of 737s or smaller. At most, you generally have three compact seats on either side of the isle. It's also not a secret that in the summer time air temperatures can reach close to 100 degrees.

Now let's go over a few of the fundamentals of aeronautical engineering. Most passenger jet aircraft have two main types of engines: those on the wings (or tail) for propulsion, and the smaller, less apparent, engine usually mounted over the tail just above the cabin. This is the auxiliary power unit or APU that allows the plane to power the little things like the air conditioning on hot days.

It is also used to start the main jet engines. When the plane is at the gate, it is connected to a generator that relieves the responsibilities of the auxiliary engine. This engine is not necessary to fly the plane and in more than one occasion I have been on planes where the APU was not working.

(As an aside, there's also one more thing I'd like to clear up. How many times have you been on a plane that's landing and someone says "when we land the pilot reverses the engines to slow down"? Well sorry to burst your bubble people, but that's not what happens. You simply can not just take a jet engine, where airflow is designed to move one direction, moving at thousands of RPMs and just "reverse it".
A- there is no transmission to put it in reverse, and B - IF that was possible it would rip the wings off the plane. That noise and deceleration feel you get when landing is caused by a combination of thrust reversers. There are two main kinds of thrust reversers. Their function is to take the air that is coming out of the back of the engine and redirect the airflow to help slow the aircraft.
The braking effect comes from the fact that the engine is swallowing very large amounts of air, creating a considerable drag on the engine, without producing any compensating thrust. Almost all of the braking comes from intake drag, not from the forward component of the exhaust.)

So now that class is over for this post, back to my point. When you are stuffed on a tiny plane and it's 100 degrees out and the APU is not functional, you can imagine the problems it can create. Now also imagine, if you would, me being 6'5" sitting next to a large, sweaty man reeking of body odor in said plane. Now imagine rolling out to the runway in the 100 degree plane with a reeking person next to you AND a scr-EAMING child behind you when the front tire goes flat.

Then imagine sitting on the taxiway for 90 minutes in that plane while they change that tire. We had people passing out, tempers flaring, but hey, we got free travel vouchers!

It was easily the worst flight I've ever been on. Even worse than the time I got searched because someone in the security line said "bomb".

But I will tell you this; after all that, it made the wide open spaces of Montana and the experience of being out there all the more sweeter.

After all, without knowing the sour, the sweet just isn't as sweet...

Deliverance

2006-07-15T20:36:00.000-04:00

So I'm off to Montana for a while. Just in case you were wondering. Feel free to come rob my house, just be sure to water my plant while you're there, please. I've never been to Montana before, but from what I've heard, this is what I should expect.

Yakity-yak

2006-07-09T20:50:00.000-04:00

Since I take advantage of any chance I get to unplug for awhile, naturally I jumped at the chance to go kayaking again. A former coworker, who now lives in Elkton, MD, has a house on the water and recently purchased kayaks for himself and his family. Me, always wanting to have my own kayak to use on all the canoe / kayaking ventures I go on, thought that this would be the perfect time to buy one.

So having researched kayaks for some time now, my buddy and I trekked up to Philly to swing by the Philadelphia Canoe Club's Open House. My goal was to pick up a good used kayak for a decent price. I'd figure out where to store it later. But much to my dismay, the only used 'yaks were whitewater models and I wanted a "trekreation" model. After all, I use these trips to relax, not pump up the adrenaline.

So leaving with no kayak of my own, we head back to his house and decided to take his new 'yaks for a spin. I was totally and completely relaxed. And I was also sold on the exact make and model that I want after test driving his Wilderness Systems Pungo 120. Here's a shot from the bow camera.

I've only ever gone paddling in DE so navigating the Elkton waters was a surprisingly pleasant experience. I was impressed by the abundant wildlife. In all, we spotted a dozen or so herons, a crane, several ducks and jumping fish.

I also had a beaver swim next to my yak for a short time but when I fumbled around for my camera phone, he dove under my boat and disappeared. I had a small water snake swim up to my 'yak. I wasn't really thrilled about that and used my paddle to keep him at bay. Shortly thereafter he lost interest and swam away.

After this trip, I'm even more determined to get a kayak of mine own. Dover doesn't have much to do, but it is near several great paddling spots all of which are just down right peaceful. Now I'm on a mission.

Fly me to the moon...

2006-07-06T12:50:00.000-04:00

There's something really cool about space. Where does one start in trying to describe it? Is it the exploration? The achievement? The Pride? It's all those and much more.

I have had a natural interest in the space program and NASA in general ever since attended Space Camp in Huntsville, AL when I was younger. So of course I pay very close attention to every detail when a Shuttle goes up. Like many other things I'm fascinated with, I try to learn more about it. And more is never enough.

Fortunately for me (and the rest of the world), we now have the wonderful Internet to keep track of things. So as I was checking NASA's site today to keep tabs on the Shuttle rollover and dock with the ISS, I noticed something even more "cool".

Below is a video of the Shuttle Discovery rolling over before the dock so that the ISS crew can photograph and examine the belly of the orbiter for damage. But that's not what caught my eye. Watch the video and pay particular attention to the earth below. It gives a very good perspective of what it's like to travel at 17,000 miles an hour. But that's not even what caught my eye. Focus around the 50 second mark on the video. Watch as the orbiter passes over the geography below. You can clearly see a man made canal and all you fellow geographers out there help me out, but is this the Panama Canal? The Suez Canal? The Delaware Canal? (yeah, right).

Where in the world is this (Carmen Sandiego)?

Liberty, Happiness and the pursuit of a Life?

2006-07-04T08:45:00.000-04:00

Happy 4th of July.

To celebrate this holiday, I went out and bought myself another new toy. Because that's my excuse. It was a holiday.

I recently had to buy a new personal cell phone because my "old" one, which was about two years old, just up and died. So being the techie I am, I made sure I got all the bells and whistles. The one thing that was vital for me was having Bluetooth capability. So naturally, I got a Bluetooth headset so I can walk around airports and be cool like everyone else who looks like their talking to themselves but really have headsets on.

This is not the toy that I'm referring to though. I am so hooked on Bluetooth technology that I just had to buy this:

Now this, my friends, makes me happy. A Bluetooth keyboard and rechargable lithium-ion mouse with hotswapping capabilities allow me to share them between my desktop and laptop with ease. I am no longer forced to sit in uncomfortable chairs or type with a hot laptop sitting on my lap. The mouse is an MX white laser. It's like a turbo-charged optical mouse that I can operate on just about any surface. To test this claim, I've put the mouse on just about everything and it works just fine.

The left side of the keyboard has touch sensitive controls to support my electronic crack habit, iTunes. While you're using iTunes, (or whatever media player) the song names scroll across the digital display on the keyboard. Email notifications also show up there.

So as I said, this makes me "happy". At least for a while. And we all know I already have the Liberty...

So that just leaves me in search of a Life. (Tell me something I didn't know.)

Underestimation

2006-07-02T08:30:00.000-04:00

There are several things in life that are severely underestimated. Sleeping in ones own bed is one of them.

When you travel from hotel to hotel it starts to just become the norm that each night you will be eating fast food, over paying for snacks from a vending machine, falling asleep to some free HBO channel movie that you've already seen but watch anyway because there's nothing on the other 5 channels the hotel gets.

When you do finally fall asleep, it won't be soundly. The air conditioning unit will kick on and off every 10 minutes and bring you out of whatever deep sleep you almost entered. And you never will get the temperature to hit the same setting that you have at home. You toss and turn because it's just a smidgen to warm or you pull the cheap hotel sheets over you and they just don't feel right.

In a lot of ways my job resembles that of a prostitute. No, seriously.

I'm in a different bed each night.
I'm responsible for making my clients happy, no matter what.
I'm extremely tired right after work; drained physically and mentally.
I have to make sure that I'm good at what I do because there's a lot of competition out there.
I have no plans for where I'll be eating my next meal. There's no time for cooking.
I'm often in a different car to get to wherever my actual work is going to take place.
For the stuff I put up with, the money is not that great.
I will probably "wear out" in 5-7 years.

See I told you. Me love you long time...

Thank God it's not Michael Bay...

2006-06-25T21:52:00.000-04:00

In case you haven't seen it yet, here's the trailer for Oliver Stone's World Trade Center starring Nicolas Cage and a handful of other actors you've seen but don't know their names. You'll have to have QuickTime to view it.

I haven't come to a decision on this one yet. It falls in to that same category as Flight 93 (which I haven't seen, but have heard good things). My only question is, is it time yet? I'm going to give this one the benefit of the doubt since they kept Michael Bay's grubby little hands off of it. The LAST thing we need is another Pearl Harbor movie. (Man that was just a filmmaking disgrace.) Oliver Stone is a weirdo, but out of all of the directors in Hollywood, I would have picked him or Steven Spielberg and the Saving Private Ryan crew for this.

When am I gonna get to see the sailboat?

2006-06-21T22:32:00.000-04:00

Take a moment and check this out. Nothing is going to jump out and scare you, I promise.

Below is a picture of Delaware's Canal Bridge. Clearly it is black and white. Mouse over the picture until it inverts and stare at the dot for 30 seconds.

When you move your mouse off the image the black and white will return in full color.

Like I said, it doesn't take much... (Bonus points if you recognized the quote from the title of this post.)

Half-life

2006-06-17T23:16:00.000-04:00

I typically expect any vehicle I own to last 100,000 miles. At the 100K mark, the vehicle doesn't owe me anything. Any repairs, I can gladly accept at that point. I've only owned 1 vehicle in my life that past the 100K mark.

In my younger days, I had a '91 Ford Explorer Sport that I traded in with 150,000 miles on it. I saw it running around town many months later.

Isn't it a weird feeling when you see one of your old vehicles driving around town? You think of all the fun times you had in that car. All the places you've traveled to.

Anyway, to my point. Today I reached the half-life of my Jeep. As you can see I rolled the landmark 50K point.

Well, let's see. A typical 5 year loan for a car. I've only owed the Jeep for 13 months. In a year or two at my current travel rate, I'll hit 100K miles before I'm even close to paying this thing off. Nothing like a little negative equity to look forward to.

I can see it now as the salesmen's jaw hits the floor once I tell him I have 500,000 miles on my trade in. But it has power windows?!?!

I've been drafted (the annual political post)

2006-06-10T13:32:00.000-04:00

I don't know whether to be offended or confused. It would seem that The Delawarean blog has been drafted by the Delaware GOP. (then scroll down to blogs)

Hmm. I really don't know what to think about this. Having my blog listed on that site would tend to infer a few things which may not be entirely accurate.

Anyone who reads this blog knows that I try and keep politics out of postings and general conversations. Why? Well, because I've only found that a select group of people can actually debate both sides without either offending/being offended, losing their temper, or maintaining the mutual respect for each others opinions once the conversation is over.

This is also why, in my job, I never bring up politics in the presence of clients. It's just not a safe topic.

But today, I will make an exception and set the record straight. And much like that girl you met at the bar last night at 3am, I hope you'll respect me in the morning.

So let's get started shall we? Let's get the "things I'm not proud of" out of the way first. If any of you have small children around, now would be a good time to cover their ears.

I am currently a registered Republican. I voted for George W. Bush. Twice.

Anyone still reading? Good, let's move on.

I am very patriotic. I have the utmost respect for military personnel, past or present. Whether or not I believe in a certain war is completely irrelevant. Those people are doing their jobs. I am able to write this post because they do their jobs so well. I never understood people who throw things, spit, etc at military personnel. They are doing what they're told to do. That's their job. Try spitting on a soldier in North Korea and see what happens. But I digress.

I grew up hearing mostly about conservative issues, and as an impressionable child those values sunk in. When I hit college I took more of an interest in politics and I wanted to learn more. I was determined to make sure I took in all aspects, not just conservative values. I left college considering myself to be an independent; able to discuss any topic and calming hearing everyone's perspective. This same ideology held true for religion. I just wanted the facts. I was here to learn.

Now back to the Bush thing.

In the 2000 election, I listened to both side's issues and as always there are things I liked and didn't like about both. (As an aside, I strongly believe that most of what is wrong with our system is that there are only 2 major political parties.) So at the time I felt I agreed slightly more with the Republicans. GWB got my vote.

As time progressed, we entered a war, then another. I had mixed feelings about the second. I was living on my own now for a while and managed to visit home about once a year. Apparently, during my time in college and after, my parents had morphed in to religious uber Christian conservatives. This baffled me. They were no longer the tolerant, normal, sane people I had left before college.

Each visit was like lecture on why everyone else in the world was wrong on religion, on politics, on everything. And all it did was start arguments and push me away. Their intolerance made me sick. Their unwillingness to communicate normally was repulsive. To put this in perspective, they are in fact, good friends with Jerry Falwell and attend his ~~cult~~ church religiously. Yeah, it's like that.

In 2004 we were presented with "the best of what's left" for presidential candidates. Seriously. You have to admit, it was pretty bad. I didn't like GWB, but I didn't like John Kerry even more. GWB got my vote again, with MUCH hesitation.

Since 2004, I have been ashamed to even tell people that. I have to sit back and just shake my head. Have the Republicans gone fucking crazy?

Gay marriage bans in the constitution? Are you kidding me? I don't care whether you agree with it or not, THIS ISSUE DOES NOT BELONG IN THE CONSTITUTION. That's not what this document was written for.

One indictment after another. National debt? Never ending war, which will soon spread to Iran. Don't shake your head, you know it's going to. It's just a matter of time. I mean, come on, "if you're not with us, then you are against us"? Only dictators deal in absolutes. Don't get me started on gas prices and oil company subsidies.

Don't get me wrong, there are some things I agree with them on. I happen to agree with the Patriot Act. I have nothing to hide and if they need to look at my information to stop some crazy terrorist from getting on a plane with me, freakin go for it. I believe we need to maintain a strong military, just not in wars all over the world. I think we need a strong foreign policy, but I think we need to walk softly and carry that big stick.

I don't like it when Republicans thank or blame God for everything that happens (due to my parents), but if individuals want to do that, it is their right. Just don't try and push it on me. Keep it to yourself. I believe in the separation of church and state, but at the same time we need to use common freakin sense. You don't have to go altering the damn currency to remove "God" or editing the pledge of allegiance. I hate when people (democrats mostly) claim things offend them and we must alter history, or landmarks because of it.

The confederate flag is a piece of history. It is also a symbol of a period of time when slavery existed. IT ALL DEPENDS ON HOW IT'S DISPLAYED. If a redneck wearing a hood is waving it in his front yard, chances are he needs to be educated and locked up. If it's flying over the Capitol of Georgia, it's not because Georgia is planning on starting a civil war to bring back slavery.

Naturally my political views range much broader than what I've wrtten about here, but it would take all day to discuss everything. I'm a busy guy.

A little common sense is all I ask for in my government. And unfortunately, I haven't been able to find it lately from any political party. I'm frustrated with politics as a whole and I fear it's only going to get worse.

I now have so much distrust in this administration and lack of confidence of the democratic party to provide anyone better, I'm thinking we should just write some computer software to run things for a while. But even at that, you'd have to program in values for platforms and here we go again...

Ok. Not funny.

2006-06-09T18:52:00.000-04:00

So I come across this "Death Calculator Clock" while I'm browsing one of my Jeep forums and everyone's posting their results.

http://evil.berzerker.net/death_predictions.php

I enter my information and this is what I get:

"Del: At age 40, you will die lonely and alone from morbid obesity. "

So. Not. Funny.

Send Del, he's single...

2006-06-04T15:38:00.000-04:00

I'll give you three guesses where my next trip is going.

I'm told that I need to hurry up and qualify for solo parachute jumps because they don't even have an airport there. Then, like a Navy Seal, I have to find my objective, do my business, and navigate my way to the closest civilized point where I will be extracted via some guy on a donkey named Gus.

What lottery did I when to get this lucky opportunity you may ask? Well, that answer my friends, is in the title of this post.

I was at a recent conference here in DE (in fact Mike has a good post on it here) and I was talking to a client about workload and travel. The conversation continued by him saying something along the lines of "take advantage of it now, before you have a family and kids, because you can't once that happens." Then we went on to joke about how that'll never happen because I have to pencil in any dates like three months in advance.

Go out? Sure, I've got July 24th of '07 open. *Click* Hello?

I told him (jokingly) that it's not funny when it's true.

All kidding aside, I do think about it. Am I wasting my wonder years? I'm completely frightened that I'll look back years from now and shake my head in shame that I didn't just stop and take the time. One of my biggest fears is regret. This is being reinforced by the fact that I'm starring down the big 3-0. (352 days, 7 hours, and 49 minutes - not that I'm counting)

I shouldn't let it bother me so much. In reality, I'll probably get eaten by a moose with rabies trekking through Montana anyway.

Proof my town needs a night life...

2006-05-18T22:17:00.000-04:00

You know what.... ah nevermind. I give up... just listen closely.

And if you can't see that video there go here to watch it.

Live, local, late-breaking

2006-05-15T23:28:00.000-04:00

So on my way down to the beach on Friday I saw this. I was sitting at a light in the southbound lane in Dewey Beach and I could see them coming a mile away.

I remember looking straight into the car as they came by me and I could easily see the guy wearing his sun glasses. He briefly glanced over and he looked relaxed and unaware of any danger.

It's an eerie feeling now, knowing that I was looking into the eyes of a dead man.

With a little help from my friends...

2006-05-14T13:04:00.000-04:00

I'm not really a religious person. But lately I think someone is watching out for my sanity.

You all know how much I post about my work, travels, and well, I guess that's really it. Hmm, in retrospect, that's a little dry. Man, come to think of it, there's probably no way I'd read this blog if I didn't write it. Anyway, just when stress levels begin to soar, I got a phone call.

My old pals at my former employer have decided to trek down to Ocean City this weekend and they informed me that I was welcomed to join them. They told me one of them owned a condo on the beach and they were all getting together.

I had planned on trying to catch up on some work but that little voice in my head said "GO". And it was right. I needed a break.

So for the first time in I can't tell you how long, I separated myself from the laptop and just relaxed. The condo was right on the beach. And I mean feel-the-mist close. Both of the pictures above are from the private balcony. Some of my friends were all fired up to go and party and they looked at me a little strange when I just sat down in the sand and stared out in to the ocean.

There's something unique that happens to man when he comes face to face with the edge of his natural environment. The beach is the line in the sand (pun intended) that separates two worlds. I can stare at it forever. Just listening to waves crashing and wind blowing. I didn't need to go get trashed to make the most of this trip in my eyes. In fact, I slept outside, on the balcony and woke up to the sun rise and crashing waves. And I was, for a day, stress-free.

So here's some more photos. This one I took because the moon was extremely clear as I slept outside. I need to start taking my good camera to these places. The night capabilities of my little 4 megapixel just doesn't capture it.

Here's a shot of the front of our building, the Oceana II. It was so nice and quiet because it's still off-season and no one was home. As you can see, the majority of the storm shields are closed. Our place is the only one on the 2nd floor with the balcony shield up. You can see the dune line and how close to the water it is.

I got a little curious about how much it would cost if I wanted to invest in one of these places, so I took a little walk and found this just in front of our place.

Upon further investigation, that price was for a single bedroom, single bathroom. Our place was two full bedrooms, two full baths, full W/D, etc... :) I don't even want to know what they paid for it and I wasn't about to ask.

The view of our building from Coastal Highway...

Everyone relaxes in different ways...

This trip really hit the spot. But I was quickly slammed back in to the real world when I got home and had 28 emails on my laptop. TWENTY-EIGHT emails on Mother's Day weekend from Friday after 5pm through Sunday morning! Can you imagine what would happen if I took a real vacation during a full work week?

It never ends.

Kal-le-for-nee-ia (the good parts)

2006-04-29T16:19:00.000-04:00

Holy jet lag batman.

My mind and my body are in two different places from changing time zones like eight times in the past three weeks. Ah... Where to start?

Well, I guess I can start by saying that Sacramento is a pretty cool city. I give it a B+ on the paten pending Del world traveler city rating scale. It has all the workings of a bustling city like Philadelphia, but seems to be much more relaxed and sprawled.

Just next to the State Capitol building, and nestled in amongst all of the other State office buildings is Capitol Park.

This this park is filled with memorials and dedications to various groups or individuals, many of which I had the pleasure of walking past each day.

One of the more moving memorials was the Vietnam Memorial.

While I have to admit that I have seen sculptures with more emotion, I had to stop and think that maybe that's exactly what the point of these were. To display the shell-shocked, drained, and confused feeling. Almost desperation.

The memorial itself was very informative and conveyed a lot of information about the war itself. Around the outer wall, very much reminiscent of the Vietnam Wall in DC, were the names of the fallen or missing from CA.

Continuing on through the park, I came upon another memorial dedicated to the CA firefighters.

Another very handy aspect of this park is the fact that the vegetation was like a melting pot of hundreds of species of trees, bushes and flowers. I'd be looking at a palm tree and turn around and there would be some sort of exotic Cyprus tree. Each plant in the entire park was labeled for the public. What an excellent idea.

So onward I pushed. Toward the Capitol.

Meeting after meeting. Handshake after handshake. Keystroke after keystroke. And a trip to Sacramento would not be complete if I didn't take a moment and grab a photo-op with the Governator...

(of course I had to blur out my face to maintain the anonymity of this blog...)

All sounds peachy right? I'll post the shitty stuff later when I have more time.

We'll settle this like men...

2006-04-22T13:29:00.000-04:00

Y'all... I mean you all, (Sorry, I've been in MS for a week) know that I'm a big Star Wars ~~nerd~~ fan. And I'm also a big fan of independent films. I'd have to trace the beginnings of this to college where my neighbors where all film students and I got to see (and help) in producing their senor film. (Which, by the way, remains to this day, as the highest graded film by undergraduates at PSU. It was so good, in fact, that their apartment was broken into a week after the film festival and the only thing taken was the master copy of their film.)

So you can imagine my delight when I stumbled on to these films about film students trying to achieve, until now, what only Industrial Light and Magic has been able to. The student in this clip has since scored a job at LucasArts for making this film. His primary goal was to develop a way of allowing independent film makers to simulate the technology that ILM uses for their work. At such a young age, this kid is a genius. Check this out:

There are some pretty neat tricks in there and I was pretty impressed. That is, until I saw The Art of the Saber. If you've got QuickTime, you can see it here. This is one of the best damn student films I've ever seen. It goes to show that fancy aliens and overpriced "actors" do not a quality movie make. Mr. Lucas, are you taking notes?

PS - next stop: Hotel California.

The best laid plans...

2006-04-16T12:07:00.000-04:00

I am the personification of the walking dead.

From Thursday to today I moved my grandmother from Erie, PA to GA.

This was supposed to be accomplished on a strict time schedule because I have a flight to MS tomorrow and this moving adventure is a major undertaking.

I will be going from Dover to GA to Dover to Baltimore to MS to Baltimore to Dover to Baltimore to Sacramento to Baltimore to Dover in the next 14 days.

Every hour was planned. Every move was calculated. It had to be. One error and it would send a drastic ripple in my master plan. I was the conductor and this logistical nightmare was my orchestra.

I was to take half a day off Thursday and intercept the convoy around the Winchester, VA area as they made stop number one. I get a call that says my grandmother's car has broken down on the PA turnpike. The fuel pump has failed. I direct the 26 ft U-Haul to continue to stop number 1 in VA, meanwhile the fuel pump will be repaired and they will spend the night and leave first thing in the morning.

The plan was to meet the U-Haul at my Aunt's house in VA and unload the furniture that she was keeping as it would not all fit in my grandmother's new place.

So there I was unloading a 26 ft U-Haul in the rain, trying to keep antiques from being ruined when I sliced my leg on the damn trailer hitch of the truck. Being the tough-guy I am, I shrugged it off and kept moving very heavy furniture and appliances. Due to the rain everything was getting progressively more slippery and it was only a matter of time until I dropped a huge glass armoire on my toe and smashed it. (My toe, that is. The piece of furniture is fine.)

So now I have a broken toe, a slashed leg, I'm soaked, we're minus one in the convoy, and I'm dangerously close to going postal.

I'll spare you the rest of the details and foul ups, but the mission is accomplished and I'm running on about 6 hours total sleep since Thursday morning. (Oh, and I'm completely sore and can't walk very well from the toe.)

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go pack AGAIN for my next flight.

How Thoughtful

2006-04-08T16:31:00.000-04:00

So I was running errands today and one such stop was my bank. It was raining and there was a line of cars at the drive up ATM so I waited patiently and listened to the radio.

The line wrapped around the back of the bank so there was really nothing else better to do but stare at the dumpster and watch the grass grow. That is, until I notice this. (the picture sucks because it was taken with my crappy cell phone.)

On the back of the building, about head-level, was a metal box which very much resembled a typical fuse box. It's hard to see in this photo, but the writing on the box said "BURGLAR ALARM" in big capital letters. Hmm...

So let's just say I'm a hypothetical bank robber. I know all banks have alarm systems. And because I've never served any time, I don't know how to disable all the fancy alarms like they do in the movies. I walk around to the back of this bank (where there was not a camera in sight), pop open this box with a $2 screwdriver and flip a switch.

Bingo. Retirement in Fiji.

Maybe it's just me, but even if it's THAT NECESSARY to put the alarm controls RIGHT THERE, do you really have to label the box? Why not just outline it in neon lights while you're there? In fact, you could even put an indicator light on there telling the public whether the thing is armed or not. No, you know what, how about just hiding the key to the vault in one of those key rocks and sit in on the sidewalk by the front door.

Thank God for FDIC...

WHEW That was a close one...

2006-04-03T19:09:00.000-04:00

I told you that these damn things come close! You missed me! Probability says that it was only a matter of time really.

In case you haven't heard, we've had our little share of excitement here in Dover today. Read all about it.

You see, I can make wise cracks now, because I know everyone made it out with only minor injuries. Otherwise, this could've been horrific. But it wasn't. Just unfortunate. Kudos to the pilot to put it down in an open field so there was no collateral damage. I was going to drive by the site this evening but I really don't like being shot or bitten by German shepherds that sport MP K-9 collars.

Apparently there was a flame out on one of their engines and the giant C5 began losing power after take off. Look at that second picture. It really lets you put the scale of these things in perspective. Those yellow Air Force fire trucks are massive. And that plane dwarfs them.

It seems I'm destined to be mowed down by one of these things. Because, now that I think about it, not only do these fly over my apartment but they also fly over my office building IN A DIFFERENT COUNTY. Yes, my office building is in the flight path of the New Castle County airport. That airport is home to an Air National Guard base. So I get the joy of trying to talk on the phone and VRRRROOOOOMMMM, past my window they go.

You know, when things like this happen, you've got to wonder - who was flying this thing anyway...

My little packet of justice...

2006-03-29T18:55:00.000-05:00

I'll be honest. I almost gave up. Almost. On our State Legislature that is.

Those of you that are familiar with the events of the past year, and how they affected me should appreciate this. That is a VERY unpubilicized report on the findings of the Legislative Committee on Personnel Practices. It is in regard to the "Zero Tolerance Firings" that took place at DelDOT a short time ago.

Allow me to share with you, some of my favorite excerpts...(with emphasis on my REALLY favorite parts)

"Further aggravating the circumstances of the firings was a statement to the press from the Secretary suggesting that employees fired due to this policy were exchanging pornographic material. The Committee believes that this may have been the most egregious and unfortunate action in the ordeal. The accusation added insult to injury and shamed employees and their families. The Committee unanimously agreed that while many of the e-mails were in poor taste and should not have been viewed on the state system, none could be considered blatantly pornographic. Pornography is subjective with connotations of immorality and deviant behavior and the committee stated that the Secretary should have taken this into consideration before commenting to the press. In the absence of a formal apology by Secretary Hayward, the Personnel Practices Committee issues an apology to the employees and their families."

Excuse my french but it's about fucking time. And I'd also like a badge to wear that says "I told you so", so that I can once again hold my head proudly when interacting with the professional community. You can't possibly know what it's like to get "those looks" from others in the work community like you're a criminal. I've done nothing but work hard all my life to build and maintain a reputation within this community and quite frankly, it hurts.

Some more favorites...

"During the course of the investigation the Committee issued subpoenas. The Committee wanted to ensure that witnesses felt comfortable answering all questions posed. This also ensured that there was a legal recourse if false testimony was given. The Committee believes false testimony was provided under oath. This issue was forwarded to the Attorney General for review and action. The Committee believes that this is a serious matter and action should be considered to safeguard the authority of an official body created by the Legislature."

I hope they all serve time. And I hope someone lets me know when they're carted off in handcuffs so I can video tape it.

"Positions seem as though they were created at will by the Secretary with salaries that did not directly correspond to job duties and responsibilities. This created an environment of chaos and suspect cronyism."

No surprise there.

And perhaps my most favorite part. Or at least the part I'm looking back into...

"The General Assembly should, through epilogue language, make whole all employees who were disciplined due to the Zero Tolerance Policy. This includes:
receiving back pay, reinstatement to original workstation, and removal of records (dated previous to the OMB opinion) pertaining to this incident from their file. The Secretary of the Department of Transportation should discipline these employees appropriately according to the Merit Rules and Progressive Discipline Guidelines."

I encourage everyone to send this report to any form of media they have access to. Because we all know, THIS won't receive press any other way. UPDATE: Fellow Blogger Mark pointed out this article to me in the News Journal.

I've become so numb...

2006-03-27T18:34:00.000-05:00

Note: the editor has about had it and needs to vent, so the following ~~may~~ will contain swearing.

Ok. Remember my last post? If you don't, just scroll down because I'm too lazy to link to it. Take all that. Got it? Ok, now add in a a fucking wedding (I warned you) and the fact that a Senior Project Manager at work just quit and guess who gets his workload? And I'm not just talking a few more clients, I'm talking some major clients and supervision of his fucking staff. And this isn't about the money. Although a little more never hurt anyone. But my already massive lack of personal life was just extinguished in one fell swoop. The bad part of consulting is that you can't just replace people when they've built relationships with clients for the past 10 years. You stick the person with the next best relationship in there to soften the news and hope they take it ok. And whattayaknow, that just happens to be ME.

Whew, I needed that...
So how exactly did I get to this point? That's a question that I ponder to myself everyday I'm driving back and forth to work. Long drives in the car lead to a lot of thinking time. There comes a point where you have to ask yourself if it's really worth it? What would I be doing if I wasn't doing this? Would I be more content? Would I be married with children? Would I have a dog?

I actually had to stop and figure out my age the other day because I forgot how old I was. I shit you not. I was within a year, but I wasn't sure.

To quote Ferris Buller: "Life moves pretty fast sometimes, you've got to take time to stop and smell the roses."

That's all well and good, but in my world, if I stop to smell the roses, I'd better have a GPS unit on my back and be plotting a point...

I've been everywhere man...(my life's theme song)

2006-03-11T10:44:00.000-05:00

This past week is the first week I have not left the state of Delaware since April 2005.

Take a second and reflect on that.

I have this very cheesy habit of buying something from each place I visit. Just something to remind me of the time spent at where I've been. This in in preparation for a year or two when I burn out from my job and finally go insane, I'll have things to play with.

Unfortunately, most of my time is spent in airports, so I end up buying things like "<insert appropriate city here> collector shot glasses." So now I have this cabinet full of shot glasses from 98% of the country I don't really care about.

But I'm not getting used to staying home just yet.

I'm looking ahead to April and I get tired just by seeing my calendar. I'm in Jackson, MS for a week. Sacramento, CA for a week, VA for a few days, western PA for a few, and who knows what else will pop up. To top all of this off, I found out last night that my grandmother has just sold her house IN ERIE, PA and needs my help to move ALL OF HER WORLDLY POSSESSIONS to GEORGIA.

I can't make this shit up.

Did I mention that I'm 100% for cloning humans? I am completely willing to look the other way while scientists break ethical restrictions to create another me. Do what you need to do guys.

Now, I'm a believer...

2006-02-26T15:00:00.000-05:00

You may be wondering where I've been since it snowed. Or you may not. Most likely not.

I turned into a sheep.

I was induced by my work though. Honestly. I tried not to conform. I tried not to buckle under the pressure. But in the end, the dark side was just too powerful.

I bought an iPod.

You see, it's not my fault entirely. I won this award at work, which presented me with a $100 gift certificate to Circuit City. Then, on a recent trip, I sat next to a guy on a plane that was watching shows that he had TiVo-ed on his iPod. So I began to weigh my options. And being the music and movie lover that I am, I caved. But it didn't stop there.

Shortly after buying an iPod you are presented with a number of little "surprises". The first, which I got a tremendous kick out of, was the big PSA plastered across the plastic wrap on the iPod itself that boldly tells the user "DON'T STEAL MUSIC".

Oh, ok, Mr. Jobs, I'll keep that in mind as I'm loading songs from my XXXGB (yes, that's GB, and yes, that's triple digits) repository. (And as far as any law enforcement agency is concerned that figure is 000GB, all of which was bought and paid for ;P)

The next little surprise is the fact that this beautifully crafted piece of technology would be found in any CSI's kit due to the fact that no matter what you touch on it, you're leaving a big fat smudge mark. I don't care how clean your hands are. And don't even get me started on the chrome back. Take a picture when you first open it, because it will never look that good again.

This is why everyone and their brother makes skins for it. So I began to research skins (or iSkins), and I found that evidently it wasn't enough that I paid $300 for the pod, I would have to pay another 10-40 for a damn skin to protect it. Of all the reviews, I came to the conclusion that the evo3 from iSkins was about the best as far as protection, looks, and usability go. It arrived and I'm VERY happy with it. I think I could take this thing scuba diving now.

So I loaded some songs and movies and audiobooks in preparation for my next flight and I could not be happier. The video quality should win Apple an award for innovation. Even more impressive is the fact that on a 30GB iPod, I have 4 full DVDs, 2 seasons of TV shows, over 2,000 songs, a few audio books, and some pictures and I've only reached just over 15GB. Compile all of that with the fact that it synchronizes with my Outlook calendar and contacts and I was thoroughly impressed.

I used to rip Apple and iPod users for being trendy. For trying to just look cool. But no more. My XM Radio, that I bought just last May, will now be deactivated and possibly be put on eBay. I haven't used it since. It is the red-headed step-child of the iPod.

And much like my American Express card, I don't leave home without it.

PS- Next flight: 6:30 am out of BWI to Jackson. My alarm clock is set for 2:30am.

Well, write my name in the snow and call me Del.

2006-02-12T14:10:00.000-05:00

See what happens when you bitch long enough? It snowed. And a decent amount I might add. I'm guessing 6 inches here in Dover, give or take. But it was enough to get me fired up and moving early this morning.

I was going to go downtown and take some winter photos of Legislative Hall and the other historic spots but at the last minute, I thought, no. I'm going to stay out of the way of DelDOT's road crews. Instead, I'm going back to one of my favorite nature spots: Mud Mill Pond. Besides, I need to see exactly what this Jeep will do.

On my way out there, I came across a stranded motorist on Rt. 8 who had managed to put his 2WD pickup in a ditch, so I stopped and offered to help. He was a younger guy and he told me that he had to take his mother to Kent General Hospital early this morning in the storm. So I unpacked the mighty tow strap and hitched her up. I wasn't sure how my little Jeep would fare on the ice with a decent sized pickup in tow. So I dropped her down in 4-Lo and she did the rest. Without even the slightest hint of hesitation or spin, I walked that pickup right out of the ditch. I was a little surprised (and impressed) at how easy it was so I jumped out of the Jeep to unhook and fell flat on my ass. The guy thanked me graciously and on my way I went. Good deed done for today.

So I stuck to the back roads where no on has dared to go yet and had a little safe fun along the way, plowing through snow and testing out that "Trail Rated" badge on the side of my Jeep. I came across many downed trees, and a few like the ones on this road pictured below that laid completely across. (In case you can't see it, there's one just to the left and further up on the right, there's one blocking the whole road.)

That was my dilemma. Tree and snow and ditch (on both sides) vs. me. So what did I do? I'm in a Jeep! I drove over the damn things! Talk about fun! It's a Jeep thing, you wouldn't understand.

So I made it to the pond and to put it simply, it was beautiful. Undisturbed and peaceful. I pulled of to the side and snapped a few photos.

Ah. What a perfect morning. You see, it's the little things like this that make life great. I mean, seriously, lean closer and smell the above picture. It smells like clean, fresh air.

By the time I had finished snapping photos and headed back toward civilization, most of the roads were clear and I was content.

Mission accomplished.

I can't get s'now... sa-tis-fac-tion (hey, hey, hey)

2006-02-11T14:02:00.000-05:00

Most people hate snow. I love it.

It's supposed to snow for the first time this winter today and tomorrow. I don't believe it.

Oh, it may snow. But it will be gone by morning. Why? Because that is the way my world works. Unless I was in an airport trying desperately to get home, snow seems to avoid me like the plague.

I'd really like to get some winter photos from around Delaware. I usually get to take at least one set per winter. But this year, I'm afraid I might just get blanked.

Come on snow! Come on snow! The Jeep wants to play!

Reach out and map someone...

2006-02-07T19:37:00.000-05:00

Look! I added blog map! (over there ---->) Be sure to use your mouse wheel to zoom in and out.

It's what I do for a living anyway, so why not making stalking me just a tiny bit easier. Please do the local GIS world a favor and map your blog too. Go here and put yourself on the map!

All your friends are doing it...

Got work?

2006-01-28T17:52:00.000-05:00

With my eyes crossed and looking comatose, I'm headed to Pittsburgh.

I'm finding that there's not enough time in the day lately. I took a 10 minute break from writing a document today to make a Wal-mart run. There I ran into one of my old state employee coworkers. I haven't seen her in about a year and the first thing out of her mouth was "wow, you look tired." I told her how I've been on 8 flights in two weeks. I believe her response was something to the order of "holy shit."

I think it's about time for one of those retreats out into nature again. Man, I would just love to join some expedition to somewhere and be gone for months. I'm realizing now that I should have taken my folks up on that offer to join them on their cruise to Alaska in August.

And I dare not say "maybe work will slow down", because that's grounds for dismissal in my line of work. (And saying that won't get me a nicer office either.)

During my trip to St. Louis, those two hours I got to spend on my own seeing the Arch felt like a shot of adrenaline. I felt like a prisoner who had just escaped from his cell. I knew I'd get caught and would have to eventually have to go back, but those two hours were mine.

It's kind of like that scene in The Shawshank Redemption...

You know, come to think of it, I should change this blog's name to "I bitch a lot."

I remember when I used to load heavy bags of potting soil into people's cars over the scorching hot summer. I'd come home covered in dirt and smelling like cow manure. Man, those were the days...

It's all about the presentation

2006-01-26T19:08:00.000-05:00

If you're like me and have no life outside of work, then you've probably seen or heard of the recent phenomenon of recutting classic movie trailers and putting a whole new spin on a movie.

This was first made popular, and was probably best accomplished, by taking the classic horror movie, The Shining, and turning it into the feel good movie of the year. The new trailer can be seen here. In fact, I believe reading somewhere that the guy responsible won an award and a nice fat job doing this as a career because it worked so well.

Another one of the better ones is taking the classic comedy, A Christmas Story, and twisting it in to a horror film. Many have tried this and some are funny. But then they had to go and mess with Top Gun. Ok, so Tom Cruise is a little on the weird side now, but back in 1986, Top Gun was a kick-ass fighter pilot movie that the guys could enjoy for the action and the women loved for the "love story".

Now, I don't think I'll ever be able to watch this movie again after seeing this. I give you Top Gun 2: Brokeback Squadron...

Death and Taxes

2006-01-23T20:58:00.000-05:00

Other than that, nothing is certain.

It's that time of year again when we, the working class, gets our W2s, 1099-Rs and any other financial document reminding you of just exactly how much the government is keeping tabs on you.

I've never been one to be excited about doing my taxes. Not that it's that hard. In fact, it usually only takes me a few minutes because I'm single and I rent. Nothing deducted from nothing usually returns nothing. It doesn't take a rocket scientist.

However, this is the first year I had a decent job, that wasn't working for the public sector. All my friends would talk about their big tax returns and I always thought I was doing something wrong because I only got a few hundred bucks.

But now, it's different. I haven't even worked for a full year and already I've shocked myself at the return I'll be getting. And to think it'd be even more if I claimed zero exemptions. I'll admit it. I'm a little fired up. Yay capitalism!

Stabbing Westward...

2006-01-19T21:16:00.000-05:00

~~Mt. Rushmore.~~
~~Washington Monument.~~
~~Lincoln and Jefferson Memorial.~~
~~D-Day Memorial.~~
~~Vietnam Wall.~~
~~Statue of Liberty.~~
And now, the ~~St. Louis Arch.~~

Well, it took me 28 years, but I have managed to cross another national monument off my list. My recent trip to St. Louis was brief, and I was afraid I was going to miss an opportunity. But as luck would have it, I finished work a bit early and was able to have a few hours to myself.

First off, let me just say that this thing is HUGE. In the following pictures, anywhere you see the Arch from the outside was at LEAST three blocks away to even fit it in the frame. Massive. This shot was about 5-6 blocks away in the park surrounding the Arch.

The Arch is covered with stainless steel panels and structured with composite steel and parts of concrete in the base for support. At 630 feet tall, it is the tallest U.S. man-made national monument and the 2nd tallest national monument in the world after the Eiffel Tower.

By the way, that^, was about 3 blocks and I'm cutting off 1/4 of the bottom. For ten dollars one can hitch a pod ride to the top. And I do mean "pod". You literally ride to top in a train of 5 pod cars. As you increase the elevation, the pod train levels itself out incrementally.

At the top, tourists are presented with about 16 windows to look out over the city. It's a very uneasy feeling on windy days. And naturally, the wind was blowing like crazy on my trip. Standing still in the Arch, you could feel it sway back and forth in the wind. The park ranger informed me that it was nothing and that I should see it on "really" windy days. He also told me that the Arch is built to sway 6 inches east and west and to withstand 150 mph winds. I looked out over the city and fixed my eyes on a point directly below me. I watched as the Arch leaned over that point and back. Talk about your "holy shit" moments.

The view was quite amazing, but after a few minutes you're ready to descend. Back into the pods you go. And no one bothers to tell you that you ~~drop~~ descend about twice as fast as you ascend.

I took some time to walk through the museum, gift shop, theaters, and displays which are all located underground at the base of the Arch. And then I left with a great feeling of accomplishment. I could now cross off another one of those "places to see" from my list.

What's next, you may ask? I've got several more things on my list, such as the Alamo, the Space Needle and the Grand Canyon. But in reality it could possibly be the Golden Gate Bridge and Alcatraz in March. I'll keep you posted.

Not going anywhere for a while?

2006-01-18T14:19:00.000-05:00

So I'm sitting here in the Pittsburgh International Airport waiting for my flight to Baltimore that has been delayed by almost three hours, and I'm laughing at the irony because I could actually drive to Dover by the time my flight lands at BWI and I drive back home. Sad.

One can only people watch so much. One thing that surprises me is the amount of travelers that pamper themselves. I'm sitting across from an XpresSpa. Now, you don't have to tell me how stressful life can be. And you're preaching to the choir if you think I don't understand how good a massage feels. But maybe I'm weird when I say that the last place I want to get a massage, facial, mudbath, or whatever else metrosexuals get, is in a freakin airport.

But I'll be damned if that place isn't pulling in travelers one by one. And it's not just women. I've watched just about the same amount of men stop in for "the treatment" as well. Is this really necessary? I can just imagine how other countries view us as they travel through here.

I don't know about you, but I'm in an airport for one reason; to board a plane. I don't need a peticure. I don't need to do my Christmas shopping. Yes, there's a GAP in here too. It's next to the store of expensive pottery and trinkets. (another thing I wouldn't buy in an airport.)

Man, those people sure do looked relaxed though.

Ugh, another hour until my flight.

Another cramped plane seat next to some big smelly person. Then I have an hour and a half drive from Baltimore. Man, I sure could use a massage...

Snow Business

2006-01-14T15:22:00.000-05:00

Here's a thought; Is it ever going snow this year? Seriously, this is getting rediculous. Every time I buy a 4x4, the following winter is weak and pitiful. It's 55 degrees in January, WTF? I swear, if I bought a new 4x4 each year, I'd never see snow again in my life. I swear I'm starting to believe those global warming freaks.

I'm from northern PA. Snow doesn't scare me. Where I'm from, a snowstorm wouldn't even make the local weather/news broadcast. If it didn't measure over 6 inches nobody even cared. It never fails to amaze me that Delawareans panic when it comes to snow. Expecially given that they're not that far from the massive snowfalls of PA. You'd think by now, God forbid, some of them would even learn to drive in it.

I am even further perplexed by this because there are a great deal of rednecks in this state. You know, good ol' boys. And rednecks can usually drive anything. Especially if it involves having a sticker of Calvin pissing on something. (Because we all know how powerful his urine is.)

Ok, enough venting. Back to work, then off to visit the Arch. Pics to follow.

Fly like an eagle...

2006-01-11T11:46:00.000-05:00

That's it. I'm outta here for a bit. I probably won't be posting for a few days. (As if there's some massive conglomerate that's waiting for me to post here.)

Until then, ponder this: (as seen on the Armed Technician)

The brilliant folks at Google must not be too keen on our president. I'm guessing they didn't vote Republican. Try it yourself. Perform a Google search on the word "failure" and look at the top result.

Want to bet that they get audited every year?

The story of a man and his dog...

2006-01-08T18:08:00.000-05:00

I really hate it when people call you with the wrong number and then get all kinds of disgusted and rude when you tell them it's the wrong number like it's YOUR fault. My perpetrators usually come in the form of uneducated hicks or ebonic tongues that do nothing other than annoy me. And this is exponentially more fun when you don't have a land line and have used the SAME cell number for the past 5 years. When this happens, I'm generally still nice but there is that extreme occasion where the mood catches me right and I mess with them because they just won't drop it.

Case in point, tonight's call. The wonderful pillar of society calls my cell phone. This was our conversation:

Me: Hello
Ignorant Hick: Ah, yeah, is Angie there?
Me: No, I'm sorry you must have the wrong number.
IH: Huh? Isn't this 4567?
Me: Yes, but there's not an Angie here. Sorry man.
IH: Well, I just called THIS number 'bout an hour ago and talk to her.
Me: Well, I'm sorry, because I've had this number for over 5 years and it's assigned to my cell phone.
IH: Who is this? Let me talk to Angie. (In a rather unpleasant tone)

Now, I have two basic options: Simply hang up the phone or fire back. I've had a long day. Game on.

Me: You know what buddy, you might as well forget it, because Angie doesn't want to talk to you right now.
IH: (Getting angry) Why the hell not? Who is this?
Me: Because she's tired of your shit. This is Tyler Durden (from the movie Fight Club. It's the first thing that popped into me head).
IH: Put Angie on the G-D phone!
Me: You know what buddy? Angie is going to stay with me for a while. In fact, I have to go now because we need to finish unpacking her car and moving her stuff in. Oh, and she's taking the dog too. (I just guessed at that one. All rednecks have mutts tied out back of their houses.)
IH: Bullshit she is. I've had that G-D dog since before I knew her. He's my dog!
Me: Well, not anymore. Because tomorrow he's going to the vet to be neutered. I'm tired of him humping my leg. (At this point, I'm almost cracking up.)
IH: Look, I don't care if Angie wants to move in with you. We need a break. Tell her that's ok, but I just want my dog. (Awww. He's now gone from angry to almost being in tears about his dog. No doubt with the influence of alcohol.)
Me: So your dog means more to you than Angie?
IH: Hell yeah. She even knows that.
Me: Ok. I'll tell you what. Angie and I will talk about it tonight and we'll give you a call tomorrow. And Angie says go to bed and sleep it off. Call her when you're sober and apologize for everything. She says that's the only way you're getting him back.
IH: Ok man. Be good to him.
Me: I will. Later

That just goes to show you how nothing comes between a man and his dog.

See there. Now with any luck this fool will call this Angie person and apologize for whatever he did and everyone will live happily ever after. I swear, I'm like the Batman of the telecom industry.

The St. Louis "Blues"

2006-01-06T12:07:00.000-05:00

Next stop on my whirlwind tour of the U.S. is St. Louis. Well, actually that's a lie. My next stop is Jackson, MS (again), then I'm off to St. Louis.

I'm not going to lie. The only reason I was looking forward to going was because I've always wanted to tour the Archway. Call me a nerd, but I watch the Discovery/History Channel just to learn how and why things like this are built.

My only problem is, that being the winter season, the Arch closes down at 6pm. And that may prevent me from traveling to the top. That just plain sucks. Ever since I was little, I wanted to go up in that arch. This damn work thing is screwing up my sight seeing.

But nevertheless, I'm 95% sure I can at least go there and take some photos of the outside. I guess for now I'll just have to fake it and lie to my family by photoshopping myself in to this guy's vacation. It's nice to see that some other fine Dover resident made it to the top...

Oranges: the secret to youth.

2006-01-04T00:52:00.000-05:00

This morning I watched the end to the undisputed best college football game ever. It may not have been the prettiest or the cleanest, but as a fan, you couldn't ask for more.

It's not every year my alma mater gets to play in the 2nd best BCS game in the country. In fact, this year was unexpected and earned. And any true PSU fan has been there through the ups and downs. This was a year of redemption. For fans, for players, and for a man that has run one of the most honorable collegiate football programs in the country. For a man who has given back more to Penn State than any one else. For someone I once had a short conversation with but was left with a memory that will last my lifetime.

Joe Paterno lives in a medium size house in a normal residential neighborhood in State College, PA. Oh, sure, he could have a mansion. He could live the elite life. But that's not JoePa. He's a humble man. Across the street from JoePa's house is a nice park. It's never busy and there's rarely anyone there.

When I was in school I used to go for runs past that park and down the trails. I ran in to JoePa one day during a run. He was out going for a walk. I stopped and said hello. He said "hey there". I told him it was nice to meet him and thanked him for all he's done for the school. (At the time, they were adding on to the Paterno Library via his donations). He asked me my name and what my major was. I always hated answering that question because, at the time, I hadn't figured out what I wanted to do with my life yet, so I was undeclared.

In the most sincerest manner, and far better than any advisor or guidance counselor, JoePa said: "Well, if you can do it, keep looking at all your options and don't just settle. You'll learn a lot of things here, but the most important will be who you are. And from there you know exactly what you want to do."

The man is my Yoda.

I followed his advice and changed majors five times. I dabbled in many different disciplines, from marketing and computer science, to mircobiology and business administration, until I found one that fit me. And I wouldn't change a thing.

So my hat is off to JoePa. It's nice to see the good guy win once in a while. And it's nice to see a school that actually has football players that can read win a title.

All good things have sequels...

2006-01-01T22:03:00.000-05:00

Like they said in the movie Terminator, "I'll be back..." or as they said in Star Wars Ep. 1, "There are always two; a master and an apprentice."

Well, ever since Episode 1 of the mouse fiasco I've been very anal about keeping my place clean. Not that I was a dirty person, but it freaked me out a little.

So I was cleaning again today and I notice some tiny mouse droppings under my wine rack next to the stove. New. Fresh. Ugh. And the CSI inside of me said those were not there the last time I cleaned just before my Xmas trip.

Long story short, it's a good thing they sell mouse traps in pairs because the second one got a workout tonight. I'll spare you the pictures this time. But I will say that this one fought harder than the last. And like all good sequels, it's got me fired up for a trilogy!

Ok, not really.

But I am asking myself at what point is this going to get totally out of hand? What if there's a horde of thousands under my building? And what if they get pissed off I'm sniping them one by one and they gang kill me in my sleep? I don't have life insurance to cover that!

Seriously though, when do I draw the line? It's not my responsibility to deal with this. I don't mean to sound like a prick but that's why I pay to live in an apartment and not a house. So I don't have to deal with this. I pay someone else to.

All I know is Del 2, Mice 0. That the best you got?

Editors Note: This is not the first criter I've dealt with here. Two summers ago I found this outside my door and almost stepped on it.

And they say Dover is boring...

Looking forward, thinking back.

2005-12-30T10:42:00.000-05:00

2005 has been a year of surprises for me. The whole job thing threw me way out of wack. I've traveled this year, both for work and pleasure, more than I ever have. I bought a new car. I've meet some new people and lost touch with some old friends. Some people I know got married, some divorced. Some married and divorced all in the same year.

There are many things I didn't get to do this year that I've wanted to. Some big things, like moving north, or buying a house. Some little things like spending more time outdoors or making time to visit friends. And sometimes the little things are the most important. So while I make efforts in the next few days to organize myself for the new year, I'll leave you with an email that was sent to me the other day about new rules for 2006...

New Rules for 2006

New Rule #1: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for Classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 15 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.

New Rule #2: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, the chili costs less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout? Luckily, it was only a finger! If it were a whole hand, Congress would have voted to keep it alive.

New Rule #3: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky bastards.

New Rule #4: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.

New Rule #5: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.

New Rule #6: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extradry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge asshole.

New Rule #7: Girls, just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. Come on, it's right above the crack of your ass and it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You were just high when you picked it out.

New Rule #8: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They're already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show."

New Rule #9: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.

New Rule #10: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.

New Rule #11: and this one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can't even tell if he's supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don't want to be on your web cam, dude. I just want to wash my hands.

New Rule #12: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in months. "27 Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

There's a thin "Line" between genius and insanity

2005-12-27T18:03:00.000-05:00

I'm back. Safe and sound. I've got a ton of things to do, but I thought my imaginary friends here on the web might enjoy this little sitcom-type adventure.

First, a little background info to bring you up to speed. I have two living grandmothers in Erie, PA. Since my parents are divorced, I get the wonderful pleasure of visiting with them separately.

My grandmother on my father's side is 82 and has had a quadruple bypass. So needless to say, she isn't the ball of fire she used to be. Oh, and she's 50% deaf.

Combine this with my aunt who never shuts up and is THE single most irritating person in history. Oh, and she has only one volume level: loud.

So I stop by and plan on visiting for a bit, maybe eating some good food. You know, old people stuff. When I get there, I find some of my extended relatives are there. Those ones you remember from family reunions but have no idea how they're related to you. Yes, THOSE ones. And they're pretty "vintage" too. In fact, I learn that the lady who is also 82, has the beginning stages of Alzheimer's . I know, I know, it's not nice to make fun of this but read the whole story and then you can hate me because I'm still going to make fun because it was quite comical.

It's Christmas Eve and my grandmother gets the bright idea that she would like to see Walk the Line, the new movie about Johnny Cash. (EXCELLENT movie btw, five stars!) This takes me by complete surprise because 1) It's Xmas Eve and 2) She's 82, half deaf, and has NEVER wanted to go to the movies in my lifetime.

So we pile the loud aunt, the deaf grandma, the senile relative, and her husband, into a minivan and go to see the movie.

Luckily there's not a single person in the whole theatre, because what followed was something straight out of a Three Stooges episode.

As the previews started, the senile lady asked my deaf grandmother what movie this was. My deaf grandmother said "WHAT?" and my loud aunt repeated the question into her good ear. Then I explained how this wasn't the movie yet, but just the previews. And the info was passed down the chain to the senile woman.

Five minutes later that process repeated itself.

And again.

The movie started. I passed the information on down the chain. Now Walk the Line is the type of movie that starts with the ending and quickly flashes you back to the stars as kids and then ends up back at the beginning again. Got that? Well, they didn't.

Then, the movie ages the Cash boys so fast that I just knew what was coming.

"Who's that? Is that Johnny Cash? Who's that guy?"

Every five minutes. Luckily by this time my loud aunt was following along and I no longer needed to participate in the circle of friends. But for the first half of the movie, until Johnny Cash was an adult, questions were flying.

Once he reached adulthood, the chatter settled down. Then Johnny got married.

Well Reese Witherspoon and the lady that played Cash's first wife look somewhat alike, so on went round two.

"Is that Johnny's wife? Is THAT Johnny's wife? What movie is this?"

Despite the hilarity, we made it though the movie and even managed to keep everyone from falling asleep. On the way out, the senile lady stopped in the Men's Room to use the bathroom and then we headed home.

Ah, the holidays...

Blog Note: In honor of the movie, I've updated the video on the sidebar!

The Gift That Keeps On Giving...

2005-12-21T10:13:00.000-05:00

I don't even know why I'm posting here when I've got so much shit to do before I leave for the holiday. In a last-ditch effort to actually not get everyone a gift card to some crappy store, I'm heading to the outlets tonight after work.

Long drives to client sites allow for a lot of thinking. My coworker and I were brainstorming for gifts and I mentioned that my folks were taking a cruise for their anniversary next year. So he says, why not theme the gift along those lines? Get them some new luggage, and fill it with stuff you'd use for traveling! (I'm telling you, this guy's a genius.)

So realizing that their current luggage is the old green 1960's hard-cased American Tourister junk, this was a great idea. Actually, I believe the PC term is "vintage". And there just so happens to be a Samsonite outlet here in Delaware. I just have to find some quality items because we all know how luggage is treated at airports:

I know, it's not very personable, but it IS functional and efficient. And that's what I'm all about. Besides, they're getting older, and old people like to have things that roll. It's a proven fact.

Anyways, I'm outta here until after the holiday, so in my best attempt to be non-politically correct and "insensitive";

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

The Annual "Why I hate Christmas" Rant

2005-12-17T16:49:00.000-05:00

I loathe this time of year. Mostly because it tends to bring out the worst in people. Tempers flare, stress levels increase, the weather is so cold it hurts to breathe and it's all inescapable.

I hate shopping. Period. If I need something, I go to the store, I go to the exact place in the store it sits, I grab it, and I take it to the register. End of story. This is why, for the past 5 years, I have managed to do almost 100% of my shopping online. No fuss. No lines. Right to my doorstep. Sometimes the stuff is even wrapped.

This year I've been so busy between rodent hunting and work, that I haven't really had time to talk to A) talk to my family to find out what they want, or B) sit down and find some cool things online.

Now, it's a week before Xmas, and I've got nothing. I'm at the point where if I manage to find something online, I have to pay out the ass (for shipping) to get it to my place in time.

So today I went to the Dover Mall.

My God, the chaos. The mall is about 2 minutes driving time from my apartment on any normal day. It took me 25 minutes to get there and find a space today. And I was sure to check the GPS coordinates in my Jeep before I got out just so that I could find it again. And we all know that holiday parking is a whole 'nother sport it itself.

This is the part I hate. People walking around shopping. No specific direction. No real destination. No awareness of anyone else around them.

Have 3 kids in a stroller? No problem. Bring them to the mall and let them yell and scream! In fact, keep talking to your family while they scream and roll around on the floor, because everyone enjoys that!

(on a side note, I actually hurdled a kid today whose parents were letting him run rampant. It was crowded and he was running and screaming like he owned the place. He only came up about my knee and as he squirmed around on the floor making everyone else stop, I just stepped over him. It's sometimes nice to be 6'5". I will admit that the look of surprise on his face was priceless as I did it though.)

Oh, and then there's the weird gypsy lady who grabbed me today. She was working one of those center island booths and I wasn't paying attention. The next thing you know she grabs my arm and starts waving this box thing around saying "no, no, let me show you..." I was already irritated at this point. I said "what are you doing?", and I pulled my hand away because I couldn't see what she had in her hand. She just kept saying "no, no let me...". I mean, I realize that women can't keep their hands off me but come on?! Turns out she was trying to rub hand lotion on my hands. I think home-girl needs to change her tactics.

So after getting so fed up with people, crowds, prices, lack of in-stock items, and spoiled-brats, everyone I know just ended up with gift cards. Hey, at least they're from different stores. One more straw and my whole family would be taking a shopping spree to whatever store was closest to where I parked.

Now I get to try and get ahead on my work because I'm taking Friday off, find time to wrap any gift cards, send out Xmas cards, do laundry, pack, and drive 10 hours to spend the holiday with relatives in 10 feet of snow drifts that are Erie, PA. Oh, and this is AFTER I come back from VA for work on Wednesday!

Tell me again, why this is the "most wonderful time of the year"?

Love in an elevator...

2005-12-13T19:14:00.000-05:00

One of my pet peeves is cell phone users that insist on making everyone within a 25 foot radius listen to their conversation as if they needed them to take notes. 9.95 times out of 10 I will just stand there and not say anything. Although I have been known to cast the occasional "dirty look" at them.

Sure there are things I'd like to do. But since I'm not a violent person, I just have to live vicariously though Stewie from the family guy:

That pretty much sums it up. And I don't think I'm alone here. In fact, I know I'm not. Because just today I found out that some future Nobel prize winner has gone and created these cards:

Can you imagine standing in a crowded elevator and handing one of these to some inconsiderate fool? People would cheer. You just might be delcared a Saint. I'll let you know how it turns out. Oh, by the way, the PDF for these cards is here. They have cards for all topics!

This almost beats the "Thanks for parking so close" notepad.(NSFW) And just in time for Christmas too. Did someone say stocking stuffer?

Hasta la vista, baby.

2005-12-10T21:57:00.000-05:00

At the end of my last post, war was declared. And where I'm from, thems fightin' words. After a trip to the store I acquired myself two old school mouse traps. I didn't know what was in my stove. Be it a mouse, rat, snake, chipmunk, water buffalo, or perhaps even Elvis. But whatever it was, I was going to catch it. Or at least a part of it.

I covered all the stove elements with plates, leaving only one open. I wasn't quite sure what to bait the trap with, having no prior experience in rodent control. But a beer wouldn't fit on there, and there's no way in hell that critter was getting some of my pizza. So I smeared some peanut butter on, and set the trap down in the stove's underbelly.

Having cased the crime scene earlier, I knew the freak wouldn't come out until night, so off the lights went. And again, I waited. Only this time, I didn't have to wait long.

(Double-click the image to play clip)

In what has to be some kind of world record time for critter trapping, my little weapon of mass destruction unleashed a tactical strike, ending my little roommate's stay. (And with zero collateral damage I might add.)

I don't know how Stuart Little got in here, but I do now that now I have to spend the rest of my weekend disinfecting my entire kitchen.

All in all, I was a bit disappointed at the mouse's war effort. I thought this was actually going to be a challenge. Since mice are supposed to be the smartest things on earth and all. Pfft, The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy sure got that one wrong...

They mostly come out at night...Mostly...

2005-12-09T10:32:00.002-05:00

I've got Gremlins.

NO. Not those Gremlins.

THESE Gremlins:

At night I've started to notice strange noises coming from my kitchen. Mostly scratching and rattling around my oven/stove. I first heard it a couple of nights ago as I was trying to fall asleep. A rattle is a normal thing around here. A neighbor doing laundry can shake the whole building. But then I noticed the creaky, scratching noise. I let it slide - right up until last night. Last night was more than a washing machine or building shifting.

Now the thing is, each time I would go out into the kitchen to investigate, naturally the noise would stop. I repeated this process, sometimes running into the kitchen, only to have nothing. As you can imagine, this could drive one mad.

So last night I was on a mission. With my flashlight, I stood in the dark hallway and stalked my prey. Like a Navy Seal, I was invisible. Then the stove made the noise. I waited to be sure it wasn't a fluke. More scratching. Louder. The adrenaline rushed through my veins. I snapped the overhead light on and prepared to face the beast.

Nothing. Silence.

Being close to the noise I could pinpoint the general area now that it came from. It appeared to be under the stove top range, down in that area where you always spill stuff into the drip trays.

I removed the trays and peered down into the area with my flashlight. I encountered random bits of crap and dust that you would find in any old stove at a guys apartment. But there was not evidence of mice, or droppings, or anything. So, now with the stove apart I had direct access to the "noise area".

Out went the lights, and again I waited - in the dark. I stood about 3 feet away. In the dark I stood. Silent and motionless for 34 minutes waiting for another noise.

Nothing. It's now 1 a.m.

I decided to call it a night. I went back to bed and not FIVE minutes after laying down did the noise start back up.

Of course you realize, this means war...

A day "almost 5 years" in the making...

2005-12-06T10:37:00.000-05:00

Oh, today is a happy day. Why you ask? Because karma is coming back around.

Let me clear this one thing up right now. Cancer has taken more members of my family than I care to count, and I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy. (Ok, maybe Osama bin Laden or his slacky Abu Whatshisface) So it's always sad to hear that someone is diagnosed with it-IF that is really the case. (Hey, I'm just sayin'.)

BUT, I am happy because the Department of Transportation employees can finally get back to business as it was a few years ago without worrying about losing jobs for stupid reasons, tyrannical dictators, or just about any other bull shit that might impede progress.

Mark my words, productivity will continue to rise. Employees will begin to enjoy coming to work again. In time, funding issues will be resolved - because now, the smart leadership that should be running the place can have their words heard without fear of retribution.

I hear parties are already being planned. Is this the DelDOT phoenix I see rising from the ashes? Is the golden age of transportation just around the bend?

To that I say: Be careful guys, you still have one more egg to count before they hatch...

Happy "stuff your face and watch football" Day

2005-11-22T21:37:00.000-05:00

I'm off to the home-world. Unfortunately for me I won't be "unplugging" this time. I've got a ton of work to do while I'm there. (Which I'm sure to get yelled at for doing during a family visit.)

Travel safely and be sure to remember to breathe when inhaling food.

Rules of Existence

2005-11-18T14:58:00.000-05:00

There certain things that make any given person shudder. Not necessarily gross or obscene, but things that just don't fit normality. It different for everybody. I'm a big movie fan and for me, one of those things is actually seeing the voiceover people.

You live all your life hearing movie trailer after movie trailer and those guys sound so cool and unreal that even though you know they are real, something in my mind blocks that out. It's like a Rule of Existence. Those voiceover guys only exist in movies. No one is supposed to actually see them.

So you can imagine my state of confusion when I saw this video clip that actually puts the industry's top 5 voiceover guys in 1 limo. Watch it once, then if you don't get it close your eyes and listen to them. I'll bet you can name movies that they've done trailers for.

You need the Quicktime plugin to view this

Great Expectations

2005-11-12T11:10:00.000-05:00

My first experience with a computer was an Apple IIe in elementary school when I used it to play a game called Word Munchers.

Since then, technology has advanced by leaps and bounds.

Today we can watch TV on our cell phones, create digital environments that fool the mind when watching movies and have virtually anything delivered anywhere without having to ever leave your chair.

With all of the wonderful things one can do with technology today, why in God's name, would you do THIS?

Ok, Billy Ray Cirus is not to be played EVER, let alone like this. Nice hat, tool. If you're going to go to that kind of effort, at least print out the lyrics eh? Although, he's got Whitney down pretty good. Or is that bad?

I almost ~~cried~~ threw-up when I saw one of my classic favorites, Sweet Child O' Mine. That did it. I couldn't watch anymore.

How many times do I have to say it?

Chemical Neutering is NOT a bad thing.

Mr. 5000

2005-10-30T20:35:00.000-05:00

In just under a year of frequent blogging, this crappy little blog has reached 5,000 hits. Sure I might be responsible for 3,604 of them but hey, a hit is a hit. I know I'm not reaching the heights of most of the blogs I read, but it brings a little glimmer of light to this shady little corner of the Web.

In other statistic news, I have a perplexing stat that I'm not sure if I should be proud of or not. We all know that Google is the most powerful entity in the digital universe. So should I be honored that an photograph that I took shows up 8th on a Google image search? Of all the images in the world, billions and billions, I get number 8. Under normal circumstances, I'd be proud, but the search that returns this image is sadly the words:

"Fallen Soldier" (CAUTION clicking this link directs you to Google's images search and returns a series of images. Some of which may be gruesome).

I stumbled on this by monitoring my referring links to this blog and noticed about twice a week this particular image was directing people here.

There are any number of high-ranking images that I should be known for. Like "Mr. Universe", "God's gift to women" or "smartest man alive." That sort of thing.

(I also find it ridiculous that Google's Blogger, doesn't recognize "Google" or "Blog" in its spell check.)

BONSAI !!!

2005-10-23T21:18:00.000-04:00

There are moments in time when one realizes that all the pain and hard work they've been doing for such a long time actually pays off. Like when Daniel gets fed up with doing Mr. Miyagi's chores, and realizes he's been learning karate motions the whole time.

It's a revelation of sorts.

An enlightenment.

A broadening of ones' horizons.

So I'm sitting here working on something for work (go figure), and it dawned on me.

(Insert flashback here)

You see, for quite some time now, I've always pushed myself quite hard, professionally speaking. And no matter what I did, I felt like my wheels were spinning. I'd get a promotion, but three days later it was back to the grind stone trying to find out where that next rung of the corporate ladder would be at. I would always answer that "where do you see yourself in 5 years" question by pointing to the chair of the person that's asking it. No matter what I did, the perfectionist within me would be whispering "is this the best it can be?" I'm always my own worst critic.

So as the events of the past year in my life unfolded, I'll admit that it doused the flames of my burning drive to do my best. The perfectionist within stopped whispering driving thoughts and started whispering "Why bother? You see where it got you the first time." I couldn't get motivated. As hard as I tried, (and believe me, I put on a good front), I simply could not find the drive to take as much pride in my job as I had before. It was a slap in the face that left a scar.

When I took my new job, I was put in position that required that fire to be there 100% of the time. I tried to look at it as a new start. A new fence to paint if you will. And I was handed the brush and pointed toward the fence. But my all still wasn't in it. I felt out of place. Uncertain if this fence was even worth painting.

So back to my point...

As I'm working here, I'm thinking about upcoming tasks and everything I'm invloved in and I realize that this fence is, in fact, worth painting. And that the more of the fence I paint, the more this company realizes it and other people want me to paint their fences too. And some even want me to sand their floors and wax their cars! And that's when it hit me.

The better I wax, sand and paint, the more I'm learning and peers within the Miyagi do-jo respect my abilities. Things that seemed intimidating before are now clear to me. I have a direction and I know what I must do. It's a level of confidence that was restored.

And with it comes the fire. And just past the smoke, is the next rung of the corporate ladder.

Feel free to read this again with the Karate Kid theme music on. It's a completely different experience. Trust me.

Shit happens...

2005-10-21T08:33:00.000-04:00

Just when you thought you got a break in life and things might not be as cruel as they seem in this world, this happens.

Now why couldn't some Hurricane Katrina victim win this? Or better yet, ME?

I'd do good this with that money. Like pay Ashlee Simpson not to sing anymore, or buy Ty Pennington some Ritalin. Things that would make this world a better place to live in.

Actually the real reason I'm disappointed at this is because I forgot to stop and by my damn tickets last night...

UPDATE: Speaking of Pennington, check this out.

Choosing the right domain name...

2005-10-18T10:35:00.000-04:00

Choosing the right domain name...

It's not always easy choosing the right domain name, but you can't do much worse than these people.

Firstly, there is "Who Represents?" - a database for agencies to the rich and famous:
http://www.whorepresents.com

Second is the Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views:
http://www.expertsexchange.com

Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island:
http://www.penisland.net

Need a therapist? Try: http://www.therapistfinder.com

Finally we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales:
http://www.molestationnursery.com

Ann Arbor is a bitch.

2005-10-15T19:30:00.000-04:00

That is a fact. I've met her personally a few years ago. She's loud. She's huge. And she hurts my feelings at least one a year, usually. And I don't know why.

Today she did it again.

During my time at PSU, I was fortunate enough to go to a PSU-Michigan game in Ann Arbor, MI. I have sat in the middle of 111,000 rival college students and cheered for my team. It's very nerve racking. I can't imagine having to play football for them. This week's game took about 5 years off of my life. Guaranteed.

I thought weekends were for relaxing. I about had a heart attack in my living room.

I need a beer.

Um... yeah....

2005-10-15T07:38:00.000-04:00

I stole this from NPR Junkie because I really didn't have anything else to say today. Hey, at least I'm honest.

On a lighter note, I think I'm going to patten a drink called The Delawarean. It's like a cosmopolitan, only you chug it down because you suddenly have too much work to do.

How to make a delawarean

Ingredients:

1 part success

3 parts ambition

1 part joy

Method:
Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Serve with a slice of caring and a pinch of salt. Yum!

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

Do you hear what I hear?

2005-10-10T18:04:00.000-04:00

Do you hear it?

That's right - NOTHING! No whurring of computer fans, no ringing phones, and no "ding-dong" email notifications. Just the sounds of a cool breeze, trickling water and the occasional fish jumping at a water bug.

This is Mud Mill Pond. Doesn't it look relaxing?

I took one step out of my Jeep and inhaled deeply. Yup, that's nature. And I love it. I took a second just to survey the area and take it all in. (Like I do everytime I go do something out-doorsy) We loaded our gear in the canoes and set ~~sail~~ paddle.

The weather was perfectly overcast to keep the sun off of us and the rain had just let up enough to make it a little misty. The pond is there due to the existence of a dam constructed just to the left of the boat launch area. With all the rain we've had lately, it created a nice little waterfall effect.

We trekked north, entering a small hidden passageway that lead to the stream the feeds the pond and pushed forward. One guy had a single-man kayak and we would send him ahead of the fleet to explore and report back when areas got hard to navigate for a full size canoe. A valuable asset indeed, and he saved us a lot of unnecessary maneuvering.

Navigating under fallen trees and bridges was fun. It was almost a challenge to see just how far up the creek we could actually go. That's kind of the secondary point of the trip each year, after relaxing that is.

Last year we went about 6 miles round-trip. I don't think we made it quite that far this year. That was in part due to man. You see, the end of our trek came at a garbage pile. It was SO disappointing to have all that beauty of nature come to an abrupt end because of some ignorant people. Here's the end our road:

Oh, we also saw a rather nice, new Nike hiking boot float by us. I don't consider myself a treehugger, but come on people. Surprising enough, the water was shallow enough to see that the fish were still alive. Quite the troopers considering.

On the way back, our scout boat spotted this little monument:

This is a Mason-Dixon marker. The small sign in front tells you about the line itself and that, although old, it is not the original marker. It is a symbolic replacement due to the fact that the original marker lies in the bottom of Mud Mill Pond. Which only makes sense with the line splitting the pond.

Well, that about covers it for that little adventure. Nobody fell in this time. A relaxing time was had by all. Now back to work...:(

Without a paddle

2005-10-06T20:56:00.000-04:00

Columbus Day is right around the corner. And for me, that means the annual canoe trip.

As a state employee, I had this day off - paid. As a consultant, not so much.

But I never take a vacation and for the past 6 weeks I've been putting in close to 12 hour days for 6-7 days a week.

I'M TAKING A DAY OFF.

I think I'm going to appreciate this year's trip more so than last. It's very peaceful out on the water. The only electronic device is my cell phone to capture these crappy pictures and it gets turned off when I'm not using it. These shots are from last year as we explored parts of Silver Lake and its tributaries.

Each year we pick a different water body to make the trek on. This year's lucky winner is Mud Mill Pond. We'll put in there and just simply explore.

No emails. No voicemails. No traffic. Just peace and quiet and a paddle. And some mud...

It's no Blue Ridge Mountain hike, but it's the next best thing living in a vertically challenged state.

I think maybe I appreciate little adventures into the great outdoors more than other people I know simply because I don't get to do them very often. I envy those people who just up and quit their job and travel the world for a year or backpack through Europe. At what point in life did I miss that option?

So come rain or shine, my friends and I are going canoeing.

And I'm going to do my very best to forget all about work for a day

The Gambler...(long post alert)

2005-09-24T16:35:00.000-04:00

"You've gotta know when to hold 'em.
You've gotta know when to fold 'em.
You've gotta know when to walk away.
You've gotta know when to run."

A smart man once sang those words. Or maybe it was a rich man?

I'm safe and sound in good ol Dover, DE now. But let's go back a bit, shall we?

THURSDAY, September 22, 10:30pm:

I learn my coworker's flight on Contential (the same 1st leg connecting flight I'm on) is canceled and he makes backup plans on another airline. Unfortunately he's heading to Columbus and I'm not. We can't stay in our hotel rooms any longer due to the influx of Houston residents fleeing Hurricane Rita.

I was on on hold with my cell phone for two solid hours trying to get a hold of Contential, on the hotel phone on hold with my company's travel agent, and on line trying to book any backup flight I could.

I managed to get THE ONLY flight out of Austin on Southwest at 8pm Friday- just about the time the Hurricane was to be beating down on Austin.

I got fed up with being on hold on both phones and hung up. My coworker informed me that he had gotten an alternate flight at 7:10am on Friday. So this meant that I had to get up at 3:30am, and run him to the Houston airport, return to the office, work all day, and then pray that my flight would leave Austin that night at 8pm. This would put me in Baltimore at midnight, allowing me to get home around 3am.

Being up for 24 straight hours, does not a happy Del make.

Before going to sleep that night, I checked my flight status online and it was still saying I was a go for my original flight. But, really, how reliable is the Interent when it comes to up-to-date information? Would you risk your life on it? Let's face it, the Internet is wonderful, but I would still feel the most assured if a real person told me my flight was a go. Too bad that wasn't going to happen. Been there, done that, spent 2 hours.

FRIDAY, September 23, 3:30am:

I got up and tried both numbers again. No dice. I checked the weather and the web, same story; your flight is on schedule. Uh-huh, sure it is. I went and took my shower and thoughts started running through my head how THIS might be the last shower I get for a long time.

Then it hit me.

What if I try and actually CHECK IN online. It shouldn't let me check in and print my boarding passes if the flight has been canceled should it? Not that I could print them anyway, but I could get a little more verification, right?

Sure enough, it was letting me check in, AND it was going to let me print my boarding pass.

At this point I had to make a major decision. Do I go to the airport with my coworker, turn in the car, and try and actually board the same initial flight into Houston that he was told personally was canceled? I was running through the scenarios in my head. Maybe it had to do with his connecting flight? He was leaving out of Houston later that I was. Maybe they were just telling callers that so that they could free up some space and get him to take a different flight.

I put all my chips on black and rolled the dice.

We turned in the car and headed off to our respective airlines. People were EVERYWHERE. Both security lines extended out of the queues and wrapped around back and forth like the line for Space Mountain in Disney World.

I thanked myself silently for getting there so early. I rounded the counter to Contential Airlines and not a single person was in line.

Oh shit. This can't be good.

I walked over to the self-check in and crossed my fingers as I entered my information.

Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please let me on this flight!

Some computing cycles later and it asked me if I need to check bags and spit out my passes!

Thank you God! SUCCESS!

The high-roller wins! I broke the bank. Like the smart man said, you've gotta know when to hold 'em.

After not being intimately searched this time, I walked to my gate feeling like I just cheated death. I hopped on the airport's wireless Internet and canceled my backup flight (you've gotta know when to fold 'em), and then boarded my plane (you've gotta know when to walk away)for the chaos of Houston.

I was one of about 40 people on a 737 headed toward a category 4 hurricane. Flying in to Houston was a once in a lifetime experience. Because it's not everyday that you see 8 lane highways completely empty. This city of 4 million people looked like a ghost town. I could count the number of moving cars I saw on my fingers. Nobody on golf courses. Nobody at stop lights. Nobody anywhere.

We landed and I caught my connecting flight. This one was full, as I expected. We were one of the last flights to leave Houston that day, as the airport closed down at noon.

Like the smart man said, you've gotta know when to run.

I had a long flight ahead of me on a stuffy plane, so after some small talk with the people next to me, I decided to just catch up on some sleep I missed that morning.

"...So when he'd finished speakin, he turned back towards
the window,crushed out his cigarette and faded off to sleep."
It's good stuff people. Words to live by.

Staring down a bullet...

2005-09-22T20:45:00.000-04:00

We'll folks. I'm in deep shit.

Breaking news tells me that I can no longer fly home. They're shutting down GWB airport at noon, but aren't accepting any inbound flight- even if you connect and fly right back out. I'm on the phone as I type, trying to re-route my ass around this country to get back home before this damn storm blows me away.

The best part is, the mass exodus from Houston is sending everyone toward me and naturally I have to be out of my hotel room by tomorrow morning.

(do you see what I mean about my luck?)

Here's what I think. I think everytime our technology detects a killer hurricane coming toward the US - something that would cause massive loss of life and property - the U.S. should be permitted to launch a tactical nuke into the eye and detonate that damn thing. Something just powerful enough to disrupt the pressure systems causing the storms. Sure you'd have to worry about fallout and environmental issues, but at least you could worry about them in a house that's still standing!

Anyway, back to my problem. (Did I mention this sucks?)

Some random thoughts going through my head:

Maybe I should find a laundry mat here before I begin to stink since I only have a limited amount of clothing.
Can I, in fact, recreate the scene from Forrest Gump by jogging all the way home?
Can I pawn my company laptop for a plane ticket? (psst... wanna buy a laptop?)
Can I blame this mishap on George Bush? After all, it's HIS airport that's screwing me.
I should be exempt from traveling for work for a LONG time.
Since I am a daily user of Bill Gate's software, I think he should help me out a bit here.
Is there any company left in the world that I can speak to a REAL PERSON if I have a problem?

*sigh*

This blows. Literally.

Ok, it's not funny anymore

2005-09-21T22:06:00.000-04:00

It would seem that I'm some sort of hurricane magnet. Each city I travel to seems to get wiped out by a hurricane after I leave. This time I'll be cutting it closer than last.

My flight home leaves Friday morning out of Austin. But the kicker is that it connects in Houston. Yes, that's right. I'm flying INTO the storm. Timing is everything here. If I can get in to Houston, I'm pretty sure they'll let me leave from there.

I'm a little hesitant to come back to Delaware because tropical storm Phillipe is lingering off the Atlantic coast. And if I come back, I may drawn it in toward the Delaware coast. Maybe I should go hang out in Kansas or something. Maybe even France.

If worst comes to worst I can just keep the rental car and drive it all the way home. It's a 4x4 Explorer, so it can handle a decent amount of flooding if needed.

Why does this shit always happen to me?

Don't mess with Texas

2005-09-17T20:37:00.000-04:00

At least that's what the shot glass I have says. I guess I'll find out for myself soon because the next destination in my never-ending travels is Austin, Texas.

From what I hear, Austin is a city that is known for it's live music venues. It's a pitty I probably won't get to enjoy them. I'm not much of a club person, but I do appreciate smaller brew-pubs or coffee houses with live music.

But this trip is all about work. We've got lost hurricane time to make up for so our project team is getting together at our Austin office for four days. I can already feel the blisters forming on my typing fingers.

This time I think I'll make sure I pay my power bill before I leave...

If you need me, I'll be right here...

I told you so... (part 2)

2005-09-13T07:05:00.000-04:00

See, there is actually some justice in this world...

Click...

or here...

You know what gets me? If I would have just been a little more stubborn and tried to not move on with my life, I'd be getting a check for about $20,000 in back pay right about now. Figures.

I told you so... (part 1)

2005-09-12T21:18:00.000-04:00

Just check back... you'll see I was right all along...

4 Years Later

2005-09-11T09:25:00.000-04:00

My parents can tell you exactly where they were and what they were doing when JFK was assinated. I can tell you where I was and what I was doing the moment Space Shuttle Challenger exploded.

Everyone I know can tell you where they were and what they were doing at 8:46am four years ago today.

That particular morning I was working for the USDA, Natural Resources Conservation Service. I was scheduled to have an interview with the C.I.A. for a position as an image analyst later that day. The interview was set up through a friend of mine who works there and had come to visit me that particular weekend. My friend was also a former employee of the USDA, so she decided to stop by and catch up with all her old coworkers.

By the time the second plane struck the towers, we had the TV on at work, watching in disbelief. When the news broke about a plane striking the Pentagon, the station showed live shots of the immediate aftermath. My friend instantly broke into tears.

The area that the plane struck was the same area that she was assigned to work to for the past few months. Her office was destroyed. Her new coworkers killed. If she had not taken two vacation days to come visit me, she too would most likely be dead.

What do you say at a moment like that?

The butterfly effect of that day sent shockwaves of insecurity and change throughout the world. Still to this day, the images and actions of 9/11 remain fresh in my mind. And with me traveling for work, not a minutes goes by that I'm not standing at an airport somewhere, waiting in line for security, realizing over and over again, what it took to put America in this state.

Like each generation before me, I have my life-altering event. The one single thing that globally changes the way we live each and every day.

May we learn from the events that led up to these disasters, so that our children won't have to write blog entries like these.

UPDATE: I just finished watching The Flight That Fought Back on the Discovery Channel. This was an excellent program and I recommend it to anyone who just feels the need to know more information and a personal look at the heroes on Flight 93. Excellent material.

Birds-eye view

2005-09-05T19:41:00.000-04:00

It would seem that in this day and age, the Internet is considered to be a necessity of life. This guy is in New Orleans and has set up a live web cam pointing outside and has posted some pictures and blog entries about living through Katrina.

http://mgno.com/

I was watching his web cam for a few minutes and I was surprised to see a) dry streets, and b) vehicles moving about. Granted they're not busy streets, but still a vehicle manages to slip by once in a while.

Yeah. That about covers it.

2005-09-03T21:57:00.000-04:00

And the rains came...

2005-09-01T22:36:00.000-04:00

"She had come like a thief in the night. ...and one by one dropped the revellers. ...and died each in the despairing posture of her fall. ...and Darkness and Decay and the Death held illimitable dominion over all." - adapted from Poe

Life is different now. More different for others than it is me. But different nonetheless. I'm not going to list statistics and breaking stories because I think we've all seen enough of that this week. But I am going to put a link here to the American Red Cross so that we can all do our part.

As you may remember, I am/was scheduled to be in Jackson, MS next week for my job. Watching the news all week I wasn't really sure if Jackson was spared due to it's geographic location being slightly north of ground zero. I'll admit that I was somewhat relieved to hear: 1) that my client is ok. 2) My trip was canceled.

Instead of getting all your news from blood-thirsty TV networks trying to outscoop each other, take a gander at this email excerpt that was sent out to our project team regarding the actual conditions in Jackson.

"Hi all,

I just spoke with [Client], and he gave me an update on the status of going to Jackson. He says that there are still thousands of people without power in Jackson (himself included) and it could be a while yet before all is restored. [Client's agency] still has no email or internet connection and they don't know when that will be restored. The Traffic Engineering group will be mobilized to assist in recovery efforts, but they can't yet get to the coast. [Client] expects that they will be able (and required) to do that about the time we are scheduled to get there. There
are no hotels available and there is no gasoline for sale in Jackson (people have lined up for 8 hours based on the promise that a truck is coming later in the day)."

Now look how far north Jackson is from the coastline. I'd imagine being along the coast would be a living hell.

If mileage were money, I'd be rich

2005-08-27T16:56:00.000-04:00

This weeks destination is the beautiful State of Virginia. Oh no, I'm not going home for a visit. I'm going to conduct some ESRI software training on site for a client. And the bummer is that I don't even get any sky miles out of this one. No folks, we're going on a road trip. Lucky for me, I'm not using my Jeep. I go bankrupt just buying gas. That and every time I get in it tells me my oil needs changed by displaying it on the overhead console and chiming. At which point I yell at it and say "I KNOW, I KNOW. AS SOON AS I GET TIME DAMMIT! YOU'RE A JEEP! SUCK IT UP!"

We have a love-hate relationship.

I have confirmed that I will not have to fly on September 11th. *Whew.* Instead my flight is a repeat of my early flight to MS last week. Hopefully it will go a little smoother this time.

I don't mind driving on long road trips but for me, being a passenger kind of sucks. Because I can't just go to sleep. You see, when I was younger I was driving with my step father and had fallen asleep. I awoke to the sound of screeching tires, crinkling metal, and a seat belt carving in to my chest. Yes, we were in an accident. Fortunately no one was killed. But I did break my collar bone and a little girl in the other vehicle had a superficial head scrape form hitting the windshield. She was not wearing her seatbelt and was very lucky. It was like waking up from a nightmare only to find out it wasn't a nightmare after all and it was real. It really is a miracle that I haven't spent a dime on therapy for all the crap I've been through.

Ever since that day, I won't let myself fall asleep while someone else is driving. I've even tried. Hard. No success. And I'm not one to take sleeping pills. Never have been. I figure that if I can't fall asleep naturally, then I'm not that tired after all. But sometimes you just want to, in order to pass the time.

So if you're looking for me next week, I'll be right here:

You know you're busy when...

2005-08-19T20:12:00.000-04:00

You come back from a business trip and find that you have no power in your apartment because with all the other things on your mind, you forgot to pay the power bill.

I walked in and thought, hmm, it's awful quiet in here. And warm. Then I looked at my fish tank and noticed the filters were not running. I realized the power was out but didn't think twice because the power goes out here at random everytime someone slams into a power poll at the intersection out front of my place.

Then I looked around and remembered seeing that my neighbor had power as I walked by.

Then it hit me. Sonofabitch.

I walked back to my desk and sure enough, there's the power bill hanging where I keep the bills. So due to my oversight, I had the luxury of paying another $50 in a reconnection fee to be able to type here now. And naturally, they just can't ADD the $60 I forgot to pay to my next months bill. That would be too damn convenient and customer friendly.

The ironic part is that, work on my mind caused me to forget about the power bill, which I need to pay so that the power stays on and I can do more work this weekend.

It's a vicious cycle.

Half the fun is getting there...

2005-08-16T23:58:00.000-04:00

Whoever said that obiviously hasn't ever left their home.

I'm in Mississippi right now. Only by luck I think. I'm relaxed now. That wasn't the case yesterday though. Let's go back.

*Flashback*

It's 3:00am on Monday morning. I get up, get ready, and am out the door by 4:00am. My flight leaves at 6:20am. I drive from Dover to BWI Airport and pull into the parking lot at 5:45am. I walk in to the terminal at exactly 6:00am, a full 20 minutes before my flight is scheduled to leave. (I know this is not the standard "arrive an hour before your flight" rules but hey, I still made it. I walk over to the rapid check in counter, like always, and input my information. The screen tells me that it cannot check me in and to ask for assistance. The very rude Delta employee comes over and tells me that I've "missed" my flight.

What do you mean? It's only 6 o'clock.

Well, due to the cancellations from the bad weather in Atlanta, we're forced to book people on other flights. And since you weren't here 30 minutes prior to departure we gave away your seat. I can't check you in.

You did what???

Now keep in mind that you can't get mad in an airport. Because, if you get mad, you get thrown out.

The Delta dude tells me to go use the "Delta Direct" phone which is where you can book another flight - maybe. So my reply is why do I want to book another flight when MY FLIGHT HASN'T TAKEN OFF YET. I NEED TO GET TO MISSISSIPPI BY NOON!

By the time I was done debating the Delta asswipe, my flight had, in fact, left. Long story short, the only option I had to get there the same day was 3 hours later and over $700 more. Saying a few choice words to myself I took the flight, checked in my bag and headed off to security.

Standing in line, I'm going through my pockets making sure I've taken everything out like a good little passenger when I hear someone behind me say (are you ready for this? I shot you not)

Hey, did you leave your bombs at home?

Thinking to myself, you can't be THAT stupid. And yes, I did hear him right.

Over walks security and they quarantined the area. About 40 of us waiting in the queue were carted off to a separate room and asked questions and given a VERY through pat-down. The jokester was ejected from the airport which is good, because I probably would have killed him if the others in line didn't get to him first. That whole production caused more people to miss their flights and created even more of a mess.

*End Flashback*

Hell. Pure hell. Nothing quite like being two hours late for a meeting with important clients.

So after all that I finally got to Mississippi and checked in to our Hotel. I've never stayed in a Homewood Suite before. It's pretty snazzy. Check out my room:

I highly recommend it. Just like home. They even give you microwave popcorn and FREE BEER when you check it. That's right, open bar at check in! Rock on. I needed it after my day.

Hopefully the journey home won't be as bad. I need to go finish my popcorn now...

And one more last thing...

2005-08-13T19:25:00.000-04:00

THIS scares the crap out of me!

And one last thing...

2005-08-13T17:44:00.000-04:00

Before I go, I'd like to draw attention to a music video from, what is in my opinion, one of the best albums of the year, Green Day's American Idiot.

Their newest video, Wake me up when September ends, is very graphic and emotional. The first time I saw it, I thought it was going to be one of those sappy chick videos, given the way it starts out. But as it progresses, the story unfolds and takes a twist in the middle.

I'm not certain what Green Day's stance on the War in Iraq is, and frankly I really don't care. But for me, this video portrays, in 3 minutes, the same level of emotion that feature films like Black Hawk Down and Saving Private Ryan did in over 2 hours. It reminds me what our men and women in uniform are doing over there EVERY DAY and that the shit I complain about (see post below) really isn't that bad compared to the hell that these people face day in and day out.

Stay safe and thank you.

Del out.

Are you happy now?

2005-08-13T16:16:00.000-04:00

Due to OVERWHELMING inquiries by my readers (both of them ;P), I have decided that I MUST take a few minutes out of my busy day and post. So here's what I've been up to, the 5 minute version. Ok, maybe 10.

When I'm not sorting through the 8,000 viagra or fake Rolex emails I get each day, I'm usually tied up with work. Things have been getting REALLY busy lately and I've been putting in close to 11-12 hour days every day for quite a while now. I've also been traveling a lot for work and will continue to in the next few months. I don't mind it. It's allowing me to cross off the states on my life goal to visit all 50.

What IS getting kind of old is the fact that my social life and free time have been reduced to zero. Then I get the lines from friends and coworkers like "I'm going to set you up with so and so" or "you should give whatsherface a call". Oh sure, WTF? Maybe I can pencil them in sometime next APRIL! It really a good thing I don't have a family of my own to take care of. My wife would have left me, my kids would call me by my first name (or "that guy") and my dog would probably attack me like I was a burglar trying to rob my own house.

BTW, I'm also a little leary of the fact that I have a flight leaving for Mississippi on Sept. 11th. Not that I'm superstitious or anything.

In other news, because I am traveling so much now, I've all but canceled the house hunt. I don't even have time to do my dishes let alone visit, purchase, and maintain a house. So for now, I continue my long commute each day. I noticed Mike posted an odometer milestone the other day. Well, I'm all for friendly competition, so here's one I captured the other day on my Oregon Trail trek to work:

Man is my Jeep dusty!

I have been trying to keep up with at least reading everyone's blogs. Especially the recent local newspapers. I'd also like to congratulate fellow Blogger Janet over at the AOGB. She recent pledged herself to a whole new level of Blog dedication by purchasing her own domain name. Rock on Janet! More power to you.

And NPR Jukie is moving into her new digs and picking out furniture for her ga-zillion cats to lay all over.

Sarah continues to enlighten us with great posts like this one. One of my personal favorites.

And last but certainly not least, the Stationary Queen is still blazing trails with her firey pen and witty banter.

It would seem that everyone else's life is so much different from mine. I look around and all I see are laptops and file folders, cell phones and paperwork. Even as I type this on a typical Saturday afternoon, I have my laptop sitting on the desk next to me and I'm compiling a document for my trip next week. It never ends.

So if you're looking for The Delawaren next week, my flight out of Baltimore (1.5 hours from my house) leaves at 6:20am on Monday morning. And remember what time you're supposed to arrive before your flight. Do the math. Ugh. And up until Thursday, I'll be right about here:

I'll post more a bit later...

2005-07-30T18:46:00.000-04:00

...but I just had to link to this. It's happening again. What is it going to take to stop this guy? If you don't believe me and think that I'm making all this stuff up about employees doing nothing wrong, just read this blog. I swear, if I didn't currently work where I do and was independently wealthy, I would make it my life goal to make sure that man sees justice.

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." - Edmund Burke

Where's Spiderman when you need him?

I'm not dead...

2005-07-23T14:12:00.000-04:00

...just busy. Hopefully I'll get back to posting soon.

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for...

2005-07-10T16:31:00.000-04:00

Ok, let's say we just scratch that last post. After visiting those houses I'm still looking. Let's just say that House 1 came with body armor and my Jeep was actually cased by the locals as it was parked outside. No joke. I stood in the upstairs bedroom and looked out the window to see two "gentlemen" walk up to my Jeep and look inside. (at which point I smashed the panic button on the remote and they wondered off.)

House two was a little better neighbor but still required a Homeland Security Alert level of Orange. That house was just way too old for my tech-nerd persona. I would have had to gut it and start over.

House three was a great neighborhood, but the asbestos siding was less than desirable. It has a past history of termites too. :(

So all of this got me thinking and reevaluating.

I realized that being "just me", that I don't need a huge house. Maybe not even a house at all. And maybe, just because I travel frequently, a condo might be a good fit. So I've turned my search towards condos and townhouses. I realized that I can get a REALLY nice one for the same price I was going to spend on a house. And with a condo, I wouldn't have to mow the yard or worry about maintenence while I'm traveling.

Another added plus would be spending a little less and using the planned money for interior upgrades like pergo flooring, or new appliances.

I don't know. Only time will tell. The downfall of all of this is that I've lost the initiative. I'm tired of looking at places now. I'm in that position where you just throw things and yell "SCREW IT!".

*sigh*

In other news, I was tapped by an ambitious blogger that is trying to compile 50 U.S. Blogs from 50 States. I was honored to be representing Delaware when there are so many Delaware bloggers out there. However, as I learned more about the project, I felt that The Delawarean was not up to par for the needs of the project. I'd love nothing more than to be part of this opportunity, but with my job, traveling, moving, etc... I knew I wouldn't be able to give it my all. :(

So with the good in the project in mind, I bowed out and nominated Mike over at Mike's Musings. I think those of you who know/read Mike can honestly say that he represents Delaware in a far better light than I ever do. His family travels throughout the state make him a the perfect Delawarean to speak for the rest of us in my opinion. (Besides, he should have something to do at work, right?) j/k Mike.

So hopefully he accepts his nomination. I'm looking forward to seeing how this 50 U.S. Blogs will turn out. Knowing my life and my luck, he'll probably get a 5 million dollar book deal from it, be cast on Survivor, and start hanging around supermodels. Because that's just how my life goes...

3 doors down...

2005-07-05T20:54:00.000-04:00

So in between everything else going on I've managed to narrow my house search down to three places. (Not counting those that I liked and someone came along and snatched them from me)

The only problem is I don't know how to pick one. Each has a quality that I really, really like. I give anything to take the best qualities of each and put them into one house, but I don't have the budget for that.

So I'm going to open this up for discussion and see where it gets me. But first, you should know about the things that are important to me in a house, as a single 28 year old male.

Location.
Location is important to me because of obvious reasons. Even though I'm a single guy, I really don't want to live on "Call-girl Ave." if you know what I mean. That and believe it or not, I like to work outside doing landscaping and such and it's really hard to mow the lawn with a bullet-proof vest on. On a scale of 1-5, (5 being important) this rates as a 4.

A Garage.
I was spoiled growing up. Not in the sense that I was given everything, but once I did buy my OWN car, I was given one of the bays in our two-car garage to park my car in. I spent hours upon hours out there tinkering with my car, listening to music. It was my retreat. I miss that. And even more now, since I just bought the Jeep, I'd like to keep it inside. This rates as a 3.

Inclusions.
Never having owned a house, the only appliances I own are a toaster, a Foreman Grill, and a microwave. Which means that if a house isn't selling with appliances, I'm going ot have to buy them. My wallet will argue that you really can get by without washing your clothes for a long time. But I'm willing to bet that after a while, my clients would tell me differently. This is a 3.

Age / New parts.
Let's face it, new houses are cool. They look nicer, they feel refreshing, and they're a place that you can say "I was the first to live here." Most of the time, you run in to less problems with wear and tear and you have a warranty. However, older houses are nice too. And you will find many with recent roof replacements, a/c or furnace replacements and so on. There are so many tradeoffs. This rates as a 3.

Price.
Price is perhaps the strongest driving force. Because, let's face it, we can't all live at Neverland Ranch. And who'd want to now? This is a 5, but is flexible.

So on to the finalists:

House #1

3 Bed, 2.5 Bath, unfinished basement (hello pooltable!)

New construction. :)

Garage :)

Good Price :)

Ok location.

Small lot size. :(

Only includes stove and dishwasher :(

Deck needs built on :(

House #2

3 Bed, 1 Bath, 29 years old

No garage :(

New roof :)

New A/C and furnace :)

Good neighborhood :)

All appliances included and fully remodeled :)

House #3

3 Bed 1.5 Bath, 35 years old, Brick.

Over a 1/4 of an acre -fully landscaped :)

The empty lot next to it is for sale :)

Good neighborhood :)

No garage :(

Appliances negotiable.

Huge deck :)

I just don't know what I'm gonna do? I almost wish someone would come along and buy two of them so this would be easy. Wait, no I don't. Ignore that last thought... If I had my choice, I'd take the house from #1, put it on the land from #3 and keep the deck, then fill it with the appliances from #2 and the surroundings from #2. God, why can't I win the lottery? Oh maybe because I don't play it?

What do you think?

Cookouts and Fireworks!

2005-07-04T08:57:00.000-04:00

In honor of the Fourth of July, I decided to post something I whipped together a while ago. Have fun and be safe. You'll need the Flash plug-in to view this.

If the package does not fit, you must acquit.

2005-06-30T18:13:00.000-04:00

Say what you will, but the United States Postal Service and I do not get along. Never have. Probably never will.

The vigilant Ebayer that I am, has allowed me to hone my skills and save tons of money on things that I would have paid fortunes for in stores. Most have been things like electronics, auto parts, collectibles and underwear. (kidding)

So I figured what better way to accessorize my Jeep than eBay? I went searching for a nice license plate frame to replace the cheap plastic dealer advertised one and found this:

Pretty spiffy huh? That's chrome AND engraved! Bling-bling.

So I pay for it and the seller sends me an email saying it's been shipped like the good little Ebayer his feedback says he is. And I wait in anticipation of Pimping my Ride. And I fully realize that not a pimped ride does a license plate frame make, but I really can't stand free advertising for dealers. (This is why I remove all stickers or free crap they give you ASAP.)

A week passes and nothing.

I email the seller and ask him for a tracking number. He supplies it and I learn the Post Office has delivered it 10 days ago. Hmm.

So I call up the Post Office and talk to my carrier. He says that whenever there's a package that won't fit in my mailbox, he sets it on my patio. That's fine. However he usually leaves a little note saying "PACKAGE ON PORCH" so I know to look. I informed him that I never got a note and he never remembered delivering anything lately to "the guy with the big fish tank" as he calls it. (Which is sort of creepy because, you can see my aquarium through the window, but I don't need him peering in here.)

So this leads me back to my point. One of two things happened; A) He delivered the package and someone stole it from my porch, or B) it's still floating around the mail system in Alaska or Fiji. (And you can believe that the first place I checked was everyone's Jeeps that lived around me for a fancy frame- because yes, my neighbors are that stupid to actually display it.)

So my question is: What kind of feedback do I leave the seller on eBay? I paid for, but never received my purchase. However it wasn't his fault. He did his part.

I'm thinking that he mailed the package. If it didn't fit in my mailbox, that's not his fault. If the package doesn't fit, you must acquit.

I'm thinking "Neutral" feedback? What do you think?

Only because I'm such a nice guy...

2005-06-27T20:36:00.000-04:00

Janet, over at The Art of Getting By has taken it upon herself to "tag" me. (Everyone all together now: "Thanks Janet")

I suppose I should feel honored for getting "tagged". It's nice to know what a high priority I am on her list-o'- people that watch movies. Either that or she reached the bottom of her list and I was all that was left. Kind of like that kid in gym class that gets picked last.

So, to show how much of a team player I am, here we go...

Total Number of Films I Own:

Dictionary.com defines "Own" as:

To have or possess as property.
To have control over.

So going with that, I'm looking at 228 movies. That being said. The number I've actually purchased is significantly less. Let's just say I may be a member of an Internet DVD rental club and may have access to a DVD burner. You may do the math...

The Last Film I Bought:

Like Janet, I too have a technicality here. The last film I bought was a gift for my mother on Mother's Day. I got her the Phantom of the Opera DVD as part of her gift. As for the last film I bought for myself, it was The Village.

The Last Film I Watched:

The last film I watched was Lost in Translation. I thought Sofia Coppola did an excellent job directing this. I felt connected to the characters in the movie right off the bat and that's what captured my interest for the rest of the film. I was a little let down by the ending, but I think it's good that not every film these days has a happy ending.

Five favorite films I either watch frequently or that mean a lot to me:

In no particular order:

The Goonies flat out kicks ass. Enough said.

Saving Private Ryan means a lot to me because it was very well made (unlike Bruckheimer/Bay explosion films) and is something that reminds me of my grandfather every time I watch it.

Braveheart is my #1 favorite film of all time. I love the story, the setting, the acting, the action, scenery, the score, just everything about it. Bravo Mel Gibson.

The Back to the Future Trilogy. I'm not quite sure what it is, but whenever any of these movies are on TV I find myself habitually watching them. It's a sickness really.

And last but not least, Ghostbusters 2. Huh? Yes, you heard me right Ghostbusters 2. Allow me to explain. This movie reminds me of my college days. You see, I had a roommate that could perfectly mimic Peter McNicol. You know, the nerdy art museum director;

And what was his most famous line from that movie? "IT'S VIGO!" So after we found out that my roommate sounded just like him, I printed a picture of Vigo out and hung it on the wall in the den of our apartment like so:

And every time the phone or doorbell would ring, he'd yell "IT'S VIGO!"

I guess you had to be there. Shut up, or I'll tag you next!

And the world rooted him on...

2005-06-26T16:21:00.000-04:00

Evidently this guy got tired of having to restart his computer one too many times...

Someone give him bail money please, no one got hurt and he was just doing what we all want to do.

I hate it when...

2005-06-25T15:22:00.000-04:00

- I'm driving down the road and the person in front of me flicks their cigarette out the window and it hits my vehicle.

- I'm at the car wash washing my Jeep and a bird with a nest up in the rafters shits on my car while I'm washing it. (that happened to me today)

- people who are walking in a crowded place decide to just stop dead and begin a conversation.

- I'm trying to get home form work on a Friday evening and every license plate I see on the road is beach traffic from another state.

- Those flys that divebomb your head come out in the summer time.

- they raise the price of stamps and make me buy the extra 3 cent stamps just to use up my old ones.

- mildew tries to grow on my shower curtain.

- I reply "hi" to people only to realize that they are talking on a hand-free cell phone.

- the navigation system in my Jeep tells me to make a U-turn every 500 feet while I yell at it "SHUTUP!"

- it's 95 degrees out and sunny and it just downpours for no reason.

- people from other floors at work come to the floor my office is on to take a shit because it's generally not as busy. SHIT ON YOUR OWN FLOOR!

- movie sequels completely ruin a good original movie.

- my apartment complex has the pest control guy come in and spray everyone's place and then a few days later there are dead bugs everywhere.

- people sweat the little stuff. Just chill people.

- my family's birthday's are close to holidays and end up costing me a mint.

- I realize too late that I have nothing other than water in the fridge to drink.

- I spend more time than I need to in front of my computer bloging on beautiful days.

When it doubt, whip it out...

2005-06-18T13:02:00.000-04:00

So being the proud new owner of a Jeep that I am...

... I got to learn all about "The Jeep Wave".

Apparently there's an unwritten rule that when one Jeep owner passes another, you're supposed to acknowledge them by waving.

This is an entirely new concept for me because rather than hunt for other "Jeepers", as we're called, I usually like to PAY ATTENTION to the road and my surroundings. Plus I normally don't just wave to strange people because of the make of their vehicle.

However, in the two days I've been a Jeeper, I've been waved to about 5-6 times- that I noticed. What a nice little community.

So this fascinated me and I wanted to learn more about the "rules" and what not and found a gazillon sites. In my surfing, I came across the Delaware Jeep Association. I thought to myself, now THIS looks fun!

Think of all the 4-wheeling I could do! Legally!

Talk about bang for your buck! I purchased a Jeep and I received an entire community absolutely free! Yay, I bought friends! Lol.

(Oh, they gave me a hat too.)

I love driving this thing. It's the perfect combination of power, handling, comfort, capability, and styling for my tastes. Plus it answers the question I always ask myself when traveling; can I make it another exit with the fuel I have left? Just one more exit? Now I know:

I'm beginning to understand the saying:

"It's a Jeep thing, you wouldn't understand."

The Substitute

2005-06-16T22:44:00.000-04:00

Since I don't have time to search for a house right now, and don't foresee time in my near future, I'm left with the problem of driving to Newark every day. Well, this past January, you may remember that I purchased a Chevy Blazer.

Well, the more I drove it, the less I liked it. It had gotten to the point that I flat out hated this thing. Not to mention that it sucked gas like crack fiend. I've come to the conclusion that it was so different from the car that I traded in before it, that I thought I liked it. But I didn't. Really.

So something had to change. And I'm not one to procrastinate. But this time I knew what I wanted. I had driven them before. A perfect combination of sport and utility. I guess it's just a Jeep thing...

I'm happier now. Still busy, but at least I enjoy commuting now.

I'm a list maker...

2005-06-12T16:53:00.000-04:00

Things to do:

1. Watch Multiplicity repeatedly until I figure out just how to clone myself. If this fails, resort to the 6th Day.

2. Watch X-men again and figure out how Storm controls the weather so I don't feel bad staring at a computer screen on beautiful days.

3. Put a camera in my truck so I can take a picture every day of the car in front of me on Route 1 that won't get out of the PASSING lane.

4. Perfect my "transporter" invention so I won't have to spend $60/week in gas.

5. Learn that taking my laptop in to a movie theater to do work while watching Star Wars Ep. III is not acceptable in Delaware.

6. Apologize to my fish for not giving them the quality time that they deserve.

7. Shop for ANOTHER wedding card for my father. Do they make cards that say "Hope it works out this time"? I'm about to add his name to this list.

8. Figure out where that smell in my apartment is coming from.

9. Search for a house somewhere north of the canal.

10. Click "yes" or "no" on my e-vite for attending my upcoming highschool reunion.

Hiatus

2005-06-07T20:08:00.000-04:00

Folks, work is piling up pretty fast. Remember that calm before the storm? Well, the storm is here now and the water is starting to overrun my hip boots.

So it's beginning to look like the Delawarean might be posting only on weekends for the time being. Any spare time will be spent running my microwave with the door open in an attempt to grow a third arm to help me out.